


Bulletproof Cupid

by deadspring



Category: the GazettE
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Disability, Drama & Romance, Drug Use, M/M, Mystery, Psychology, Romance, Secret Identity, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Stalking, Thriller, Use of famous personas, male sex, mysterious character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2019-09-28 04:04:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 36,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17175533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadspring/pseuds/deadspring
Summary: When you have everything in your life everything seems brighter around you. Akira knows it too well. And he also knows that it takes only a blink of an eye to change everything and darkness can swallow you whole. Akira lives the dream of his life until something changes violently. He lost himself in loneliness and depression but one day his life changes when he meets accidentally someone new...





	1. One.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! That's my first time writing a fanfiction in english so I apologize for any mistakes. I hope you will appreciate my work and keep following the story. Comments are highly appreciated! ♡ A special thanks to @i_lack_ruki who inspired me.

**Bulletproof Cupid**

 

 

 

 

 

One.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Akira Suzuki was the most famous male model in Japan.

Not only he was famous, he was one of the richest model in Asia.

He was 35 years old and worked as a model since the year of 16. He became famous posing for the most successful fashion designers and still claimed a lot of success due to his beauty, fame and personality.

What could a person ask for more? Akira literally had _everything_. He had money, fame, success, two giant houses in Japan and one in the USA, friends, a family who kept supporting him and...beauty.

Beauty was the most important thing in his life. Everything was about beauty. Akira took care of his body basically everyday since his teenage years. He started working out, visiting beauty saloons and health centers, hiring a personal hairdresser and makeup artist. Akira started working as occasional model because of his symmetrical face and proportionate shapely body. He's always been tall, tanned and muscled. He didn't strain too much to get noticed by a rich manager in Tokyo.

His family was completely ok with his job even if that meant leaving high school and giving up on an academic career. But Akira tried giving some time to his hobbies like reading and listening to music, even tho his career came first. His mother followed him around the world since his career started. She helped his son so much during his early years, supporting him and cheering him up during every situation. His whole family helped him going through different experiences, especially Akira's lovely sister, Azumi.

Akira could really consider himself a lucky human being. He worked so many years doing all the things he wanted to do, enjoying himself, traveling the world, meeting new people. His job was a dream and he was living his dream.

But...was Akira happy?

He was, in a sense.

He had everything.

Money. Beauty and Happiness.

He even had Love.

He was openly bisexual (everyone in the fashion industry basically was) and never hid it to the press or paparazzi. Not even to his family and to his beloved mother. He had a lot of boyfriends and different flirts with handsome men and gorgeous women. He kept living this one-night-stand life until he met her.

Taeko.

Taeko was a famous actress and model who used to pose for underwear and beachwear for famous japanese fashion houses. She was stunning, beautiful and sweet and she had the attention of all the medias, especially about his private life and his numerous boyfriends.

Taeko and Akira met when he was posing for a television spot publicizing a delicious cold drink where Taeko acted as main character in the spot. They were both beautiful, and it wasn't difficult for the two of them to break the ice and starting getting along with each other.

They dated for 6 months before announcing publicly they were a couple. They started appearing on red carpets and fashion show parties together, holding into the partner's arm. They were _beautiful_ , like two beautiful painting hanging on the wall of a famous museum. They had everyone's attention. It was basically impossible to not notice a beautiful man and a beautiful woman arriving at the party holding hands.

Akira was deeply in love with his girlfriend. He never met someone so cute and intelligent in his whole life and felt immediately a deep connection with that person. Akira felt she was the woman of his life. He wasn't kidding when he whispered his mother he really wanted to marry her as soon as possible.Akira and Taeko married when he was 30 and she was 28. The wedding was small and private with only close friends and some relatives. Everything screamed 'fashion' that day. From the Giorgio Armani bride's dress to the table cloth signed by Louis Vuitton. Everything was fashionable and damn rich. Akira was the happiest human alive that day. He thought money could buy everything but he quickly realized that all of his money could never buy the happiness of his wedding day. He still remembers everything from that day, even his sister crying and his mother hugging all the guests staring at his son proudly.

Damn, he was damn lucky.

Not only he was living the life of his dream; he was living it with the love of his life by his side. Forever.

How could life turn out to be so good?

Akira didn't need any answers. He had everything he needed to know in his life and everything was Taeko.

But if they loved each other so much, what did it go wrong?

They moved to a big sumptuous house in Ginza, the most expensive neighborhood in Tokyo and they finally started living together as a married couple. The first months were incredible. They used to work together, attending shows and meetings together. It was a dream. Working with your lover by your side is the most pleasing sensation ever.

But all the beautiful things have a price. Akira knew it after one year.

His relationship with Taeko started falling to pieces. The pressure that japanese medias had over Taeko was harsh and serious and no one, not even the strongest person on earth, could ever hold it for too long. Neither did Taeko. The paparazzi never left the couple alone, not even for a minute. They waited for them near their house, lurked among the trees just waiting to catch something scandalous and selling everything to the major magazines. The lived their married-life under the flashes and the bitter gossips. Taeko wasn't strong enough for all of this, she couldn't hold anything anymore. Akira noticed his partner slowly changing his mood, his mental health and his daily habits. Taeko stopped eating because the social networks and the press accused her to disregard her work to live a 'married life' and called her 'fat' and 'ugly'. She had several mental breakdowns and fell slowly into depression. Akira couldn't do anything but stare at her. He tried helping her but the paparazzi and the medias never left him alone. He tried sending her to a therapist, keeping her company at night and going shopping for her but no one, no one ever left him alone.

He felt their eyes everywhere, people trying catching even the smallest details of his daily life. He felt completely useless. His wife was at home, staring at the void and crying and he felt so alone.

He loved her too much to not do anything for her health. Taeko started a long therapy with anti-depressants but it was very difficult to stay positive in a situation like this, especially for a girl like Taeko. She has always been cute and sensitive about the things around her; she studied History of Art at University and graduated with the highest votes. She loved art and she owned such a big artistic sensitivity that is so rare to find in people. Akira immediately fell for her thank to her artistic and kind attitude towards the world: Taeko always cared for everyone, she even did some charity offering money to different associations helping poor communities in South Asia. Akira felt his heart breaking when he realized how much his wife changed due to the psychologic pressure she had by the press, the media and the criticism. She was unrecognizable: she lost weight, her face started getting older and her kindness turned into an endless expression of void on her face. Depression destroyed her and her career, and destroyed Akira’s life too. He even thought about giving up on his job and future projects to stay by her side but after a while he realized it was useless. He realized he couldn’t help her, he couldn’t reach for her not even touching her anymore. The doctors told Akira his wife was suffering a personality disorder together with a major depressive disorder and sometimes she wasn’t even able to recognize her own husband. Akira suffered so much for this situation and things got worse when Taeko’s mother got interfered in their relationship. Her mother decided to protect her own daughter because – she said – Akira was too interested in keeping a good imagine in front of cameras rather than taking care of his lover. The woman decided for him: she took her daughter away from Akira and he wasn’t able to see her or call her. He was interested in knowing his wife’s mental state but it was impossible for him to do so. She tried calling her, sending her e-mails, letters or texts but she never answered. After 5 months of silence, Taeko was able to call his husband. She was slowly healing but the road was still rough and full of difficulties and pain.

They divorced after two years of marriage and Akira never felt so alone in his life. He had been founding the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, the person that understood him, listened to him and loved him and now it was all gone. His life was gone together with Taeko. She took away a little piece of Akira’s soul and after that moment he felt incomplete, vulnerable, unhappy.

Many people would say: that’s the risk of the job. Being famous means being able to accept a difficult life. But… what about Love? Wasn’t Love mean for everyone independently from their jobs, personalities and experiences? Why did this happen to Akira?

He often asked himself these questions but he never found an answer not even an explanation to his life. Everything became meaningless but he didn’t give up on his job.

He kept shooting, posing for the most famous designers and became richer and loner. His attitude changed too, he found himself being very annoying, easily getting irritated, talking less and spending a lot of time at parties drinking and crying.

He just accepted what his life was giving him.

Was he happy now?

No he wasn’t. he wasn’t sad neither. He was just a machine: waking up early in the morning, working out, traveling the world, smiling falsely, not giving too much attention to people and especially never trusting anyone, not even his shadow.

Now Akira was 35, with an healthy life style, two giant houses in Japan (the house in the USA had been assigned to her ex-wife), a successful job, a beautiful face and body and a rough past.

He even adopted a cute huge male Labrador and named him ‘Sid Vicious’ in honor to his favorite musician and bassist.

Sid changed his life to the best: Akira spent all of his free time with his cute lovely dog and loved traveling to the seaside walking with his best non-human friend all night long talking to him and falling asleep to his side.

Nothing could ever separate them.

 


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Happy New Year people! I hope you are spending a good time during the holidays. I decided to post a new chapter today as a gift for you all. Thank you for showing me interest and love for this story! Thank you again ♡

Two.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_6 months later._ **

 

 

Akira woke up tired that day. He didn't sleep well and he had a strong headache that was turning his mood into something very negative. He decided to go making a coffee to try cheering himself up.

While the coffee was boiling, Akira prepared food and water for his dog, paying attention to not giving too many things to eat to his pet. Sid gained weight in the last month and Akira noticed it was difficult to lift the cute dog up in his arms: Sid was getting bigger and bigger and it seemed yesterday when Akira adopted him and he was small and tiny with big eyes staring around when he first saw his owner's house. Akira smiled thinking about it.

“Sid come here! Breakfast is ready”

A small bark came from the hallway and then a giant living puppet appeared in the kitchen moving his tail happily.

“Hi doggo! How was your sleep? I hope it was better than mine” Akira whispered caressing his dog's head and nose. The big dog jumped on Akira's body happily shaking his tail energetically and taking his long tongue out. Akira smiled and let him kissing his cheek.

“Down down baby, your dad needs to take his coffee first!”

Sid smiled and ate his breakfast peacefully. Akira instead drank his coffee eating some protein-made biscuits and thinking about what's coming next. He had tons of things to do: replying to a lot of mails, having an interview at the telephone with a stylist and buying a new pair of shoes. He looked at the source of his smiles drinking water and jumping around the room and decided to leave all his thoughts out, at least in the morning.

He got dressed quickly and spent some minutes taking care of his skin and body. Skincare and training are the most important thing for a model like him and he couldn't ignore any part of it. Being beautiful is harder than it seems.

Akira took the long leash with him and went to open the door; immediately the big dog followed him and started barking loudly and happily. The pair went out in the cold breeze of November; Akira was cold both outside and inside but tried cheering his mood up. Spending time with his pet always made him feel better and, in a sense, happier. He felt a different kind of love, a different kind of affection when he was with Sid. The dog was so caring and lovely towards him: he waits for him in the living room when he comes back from work and spends the nights sitting on the floor next to his bed. He never owned a dog before him and he realized that adopting Sid has been the best decision he's ever made in his life.

They went to the park next his house. Akira sat on a bench and took the leash off so Sid could run around and jumping freely. The blonde model decided to replying some mails with his iPhone praying God that no one asked him to do an extra-job during the week. He was so tired he just needed to relax, buying new books and enjoying his staying at home. Working in the fashion industry is so satisfying yet stressing: you are always surrounded by people, voices, eyes and hands and it's impossible to think about your own privacy and mental health. People always expect the best from you, no matter if you are sick, sad, irritated, depressed. No one cares if you are not ok. All that matters is money and power. Akira was done with this job but he had to keep going mostly because his mother wanted him to. His mother was such a caring woman, he loved his son and protected him all the time, but she was also interested in his son's fame. She wanted the best for him and the best for him was money and notoriety.

Akira didn't agree much, especially after all the things that happened after his marriage. But he didn't want to disappoint his mother, the only woman who ever loved him and never abandoned him. He was very stressed about everything and seemed like life wasn't that great anymore.

He slowly noticed he became another person: always moody, bored, annoyed and sometimes even unkind and spiteful.

The only ray of light in his life was his dog. He owes him his life.

“Sid! Come here babe! Let's play!” Akira shouted shaking a small red ball in his hands.

The dog run so fast he almost fell on the grass.

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

_5.5pm_

 

 

The day has been long and tiring and all he wanted to do was just sitting in a coffee bar and enjoying a hot tea.

Akira decided to walk in the center of Ginza to clean his thoughts and relaxing his mind. He left Sid at home sleeping on his couch and spent the day at the phone answering different job requests. He decided in the end to go for a new perfume spot. The manager told him that the spot must be ready before the Christmas holiday season and that meant that since next week he had to start with the recording together with the staff and other models.

He smoked a cigarette trying hiding himself from the people who could recognize him and bothering him. He stopped in a blind alley next to a commercial center enjoying the smell of tobacco and nicotine. He crushed the remains of the cigarette under his shoe. He breathed out a little cloud of smoke and cold air and decided to keep walking and finding a warm coffee to spend the rest of the afternoon.

After walking for about thirty minutes he saw a small Starbucks signboard in a side road and got close to the shop. He decided to come in and staring at the room. It wasn't much crowded. There were some business men around a big table talking about economy and job-related stuff. Some other people, probably college students, was sitting on two armchairs reading heavy books and in the rest of the room there were only lone persons taking a solitary seat.

He ordered a giant black tea with no sugar and took a seat on a small desk with high stools on the first floor. From that point of view he could see a small panorama of Ginza and the sparkling shops banners. He looked at his phone checking the time and the chats. The tea in his hands was very hot and the feeling in his palms was peaceful.

He decided to switch off his mind for a while putting his phone on the airplane mode and blocking the screen. He stared at the window in front of him. Then he realized someone was looking at him, or maybe that's what it seemed. He turned his eyes on the seats on the right. Four seats off him there was a small guy sitting on the high tools drinking an hot coffee who wore big black sunglasses and a black hat made of wool. Akira had the feeling that probably the guy was staring at him and he changed his position before Akira caught him paying attention. The situation was a little bit awkward since Akira knew that it was very easy to recognize him in every public place he sat foot in, but that guy seemed not so surprised.

He was wearing sunglasses though it was almost dark outside cause the belated autumn day was getting shorter and shorter and this seemed so funny to Akira. Famous people tend to hide themselves wearing sunglasses and white mask and casual clothes when they go shopping, but this time Akira didn't wear any of these things. Instead, the awkward guy was wearing a very casual outfit like he was trying hiding from the paparazzi. Was he a famous personality too? Probably.

Tokyo is so crowded of famous people, it's not rare to recognize some actors or tv showmen and women.

Akira then decided he didn't care at all. He finished his hot tea and decided to leave and going home as soon as possible.

He missed Sid terribly.

 

 

 


	3. Three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi people! I hope you missed me <3 keep leaving comments below because i'm so courious about your thoughts ✧✧✧

 

Three.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“ _Hey Aki! How ya doing buddy?_ ”

“Yutaka! I'm fine but i'm currently at work I can't talk now”

“ _No worry...can you catch me up at 8pm today_?”

“No problem, I think I will be free in a few hours...see you tonight then!”

Akira hung up putting his iPhone on the table of the office of the photographic studio. He heard some people talking loudly from the other room. He was so tired of his working day. He started recording the spot for a new perfume by a famous fashion brand and it's not exaggerating saying that Akira and the other models recorded the same scene at least forty times and the day hasn't finished yet. It was almost lunch time and Akira decided to walk away from the crew and trying finding time for himself. He couldn't wait for the night coming. Yutaka was one of his closest friends. When you are famous, it's difficult to find someone to trust and to spend time with. Most of the time people in the fashion industry want to use your fame and your body. It's all about sex and money, nothing more. Akira met a lot of interesting persons but also a lot of hypocrites. Most of the interesting persons he met it turned out they were suffering in the same way Akira was. It wasn't that easy for them neither. For the hypocrites there's nothing Akira had to say. You can recognize them. They act like they are your friends, they love you and care about you but it takes only a little move to disappear forever and act like nothing ever happened. Akira learned in the years that it's not important having a lot of friends in fashion. Only a few people cared about him and that was enough.

Yutaka was one of those people.

They met during a famous artist opening in a Art Museum in Tokyo. Yutaka was a football player, one of the best of his kind. He was there to accompany his brother, a famous painter and a close friend of the main artist. Akira was there for business. His manager proposed him to shoot in the museum for a new campaign and he accepted. He was very annoyed that day that he was about to leave without even showing himself for the photos. Yutaka noticed him and introduced himself.

Since that day they started a very good friendship and Akira considered the football player one of his best friends. Yutaka had a different life style but he always cared for Akira, he tried understanding him, cheering him up. He's always found time to spend with his friend especially after what happened in his private life. Yutaka protected Akira from the media when paparazzi stalked him and ruined his life and health. That's what it should be called a 'friend'.

“Akira?! We are shooting in 2 minutes!” someone shouted from the door.

He sighed trying relaxing his chest.

He looked for a moment at his own reflection in the mirror hanged on the wall of the dressing room. He found his face handsome; he _was_ handsome. His hair was dyed blonde, not too short, long enough to cover his neck and decorate his beautiful face. His eyes were deep brown and mysterious, his lips big and perfectly shaped. His nose had gentle curves like the shape of his face. Akira was the most beautiful model in the room in that moment.

He came back in the studio's main room together with the others.

Some makeup artists corrected his facial makeup adding some foundations on his cheeks and on his chin. He smiled at one of the girls adjusting his eyebrows and she blushed immediately putting her eyes down staring at the floor. Akira smiled to himself.

He was 35 but he could still consider himself an attractive person. What he learned from life was that having an attractive body doesn't mean anything when you don't own an attractive heart. And that's the hardest part.

The shooting went by faster that expected.

 

 

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Akira left the studio it was around 6.30 pm and since he was very early for his appointment with Yutaka, he decided to go back to the small Starbucks coffee where he stayed two days ago.

He walked fast because he was very cold and tired. He _needed_ to go inside a shop because he was shivering and he felt inside that he had to rest a little bit in a small warm place. The Starbucks bar he found some days ago was the perfect place to have a break without being recognized by people. Akira was wearing a white mask on his face that day, but he still feared the curiosity of people, especially after all the things that happened to him.

Akira came in the shop and stopped for some seconds appreciating the warm atmosphere passing through his whole body making his shudders weakening. It felt so good being inside that little bar. He looked around in the area and he surprisingly found it half empty. Probably the only reason this Starbucks wasn't that crowded was that it was difficult to notice from the main road; surely most of people didn't even know about the existence of this place and that explained why the atmosphere was so peaceful. The blonde model didn't hesitate and went straightforward to order a big cappuccino with heavy cream on top.

He knew that he couldn't let himself taking too much sugar for his body, but he also knew how to control himself. Akira loved smoking, eating sugar, drinking alcohol, but he never went in troubles for this. His manager trusted him enough to not check on him during his off days and that was relieving. He took care of his body and skin constantly, he didn't even look half of his age. Akira knew too well he was damn beautiful that sometimes he forgot about that. He was still surprised, after all these years, that someone could stare at him for minutes or blushing when crossing his look.

He checked the time on his phone and noticed that he was getting late. He decided to drink his cappuccino outside while walking to meet Yutaka.

Before coming out of the shop, Akira's eyes fell on a small figure, sitting on a table near the wall. He immediately recognized the same guy from two days ago. He wore the same big black sunglasses and the same wool hat. He was drinking a coffee from a small paper-glass and eating two chocolate cookies. He was chewing concentrating on something, probably something important, since the guy was sitting in the front direction of Akira but he seemed not to care about a tall blonde model wearing expensive Giorgio Armani's shoes and passing next to him.

Akira felt a little bit offended and he didn't know why.

He was so famous that, no matter where he went, people were always able to recognize him. But this didn't seem the right case.

He left the shop cleaning his mind and reaching out for the nearest underground stop.

He arrived even early at the appointment. He decided to just keep walking around the square to not feel the cold on his skin. After some minutes Yutaka came running.

“Hi buddy! How are you? Sorry I'm a little bit late but I had tons of things to do” said Yutaka, his breathings getting softer and softer.

“No problem! I came here early because I'm always afraid the traffic is gonna be a problem. Today is my lucky day though.” Akira answered hugging his best friend.

They started talking about their day walking towards a famous rich french restaurant near the Ginza station. Only the best for two famous people like them.

“I feel like you are doing good brother, you seem relaxed” Yutaka said.

The pair sat down on a small table near the big windows of the room. Yutaka immediately took a look at the menu passing his eyes quickly up and down searching for something good to eat.

“Do you like french cuisine?” Yutaka asked.

“Yeah, I've been in Paris for like two years when I was 26. Then I came back again with Tae-” Akira paused.

“With her, you know...”

Yutaka posed the menu on the table looking at this friend.

“Aki, you should take it easier now. Remember what I've been telling you for all these months. She wasn't the right person for you. You should get over it. You did nothing wrong”

Akira smiled bitterly looking down at his own palms.

He was still suffering from all the things that happened; he couldn't help it.

His mother, his sister and Yutaka too told him the same fucking phrases

 

_Get over it_

 

_It's not your fault_

 

_Life goes on_

 

Deep down inside his soul, he knew they were all right. But at the same time he felt like he lost something forever that couldn't be found again. He had the same feeling of a little boy crying because his toy broke irreparably. Something broke inside Akira and no one – nothing – could ever fix it again.

He tried going on with his life but he felt like he could never trust someone new ever again.

Why was life so tough? Why him? Why? _Why_?

“I know Yutaka. Thank you for your patience. I promise I will be better”

Akira then stopped talking for a while: he listened to Yutaka telling some funny stories about the last football match. His team won but they didn't play well and Yutaka wasn't satisfied.

They laughed in front of two tasty _soupe à l'oignon_ drinking a sweet wine.

Meanwhile, outside the restaurant, the snow started falling.

 


	4. Four.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi beautiful people! i miss this fanfiction already so here i am ♡ i hope you enjoy the chapter and yes there's a lot of suspense meheheh

Four.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Akira woke with a strong headache and a deep feeling of going to the toilet and throwing up all the shit he put inside his body last night. He couldn't remember very well what happened.

He closed his eyes for a couple of seconds and saw flashing lights and heard noises.

He suddenly remembered he was invited to an after party and he started drinking before midnight during the djset. There was a lot of drug. He remembered he tried something very strong some girls gave him during the party. Not only he did drink a lot, but he also blowed the white dust posed on the table. It's not surprising that he felt like shit. He tried something very strong mixed with alcohol and a lack of sleep and that's why he couldn't remember basically anything.

He met probably someone at the party and they ended up kissing in the restroom. That explains the strange smell he felt on his skin. A foreign smell, extraneous, unrelated.

Akira went straightforward to the wc and threw up. Some lonely tears started falling down his cheeks and he felt like his head was about to explode.

Then, he stood up and took a look in the mirror. His eyes were red and swollen, his lips were dry and his blonde hair messy. He didn't feel ok at all. He decided to wash his mouth and his face before crying again.

When Akira got in the bedroom he realized he wasn't home. He was somewhere else. It was an hotel room and someone was sleeping supine on the bed. It was a boy, a beautiful blonde model, surely european.

Now he remembered everything. He thought about continuing the night with the overseas model and they ended up in a fancy hotel with red walls decorated with modern art paintings. The floor was soft. Akira took advantage of the fact the model was deeply sleeping.

He got dressed then picked up all of his belongings and opened the door.

“Where ya goin'?” someone whispered in the back. The japanese accent was very funny.

Akira turned around.

“I'm leaving” he replied and opened the door again.

The overseas model reached for him before he went out and took Akira's hand in his.

“Why so early? I like did you yesterday night. I haded fun. Want to see you again”

The natural blonde model was talking gently, the grammar wasn't really correct but Akira understood.

“I have to go” Akira replied again, talking slowly so the other could understand.

The european model reached Akira's lips kissing them slowly. They looked in each other's eyes for a while.

Akira could still feel the horrible taste of vomit inside his mouth, even after washing his teeth twice.

He felt his head spinning so he had to sit down on the bed for a moment.

He was so tired, tired of everything. He was tired of people, of their promises, of their words. He was tired of these one-night-stand life. After Taeko, Akira wasn't able anymore to find someone interesting, attractive. He could't even feel curious about someone.

He felt like he did something wrong, like a child hiding something broken behind his back.

He shouldn't be here. He shouldn't.

He felt the impulse to run away looking at the foreign model in his blue eyes.

His look was talking for himself: he was too sad to care about something.

“I apologize” confessed Akira and left the room.

He walked fast questioning what he did in his life to deserve this deep suffering. He felt like he _had_ to suffer all of this. Is this the price to pay when you are beautiful and powerful? Is it ok to suffer when you have everything? It seems like famous people aren't allowed to suffer, to cry or to feel tired. Akira wasn't only tired.

He felt like he was constantly bringing a weight with him; that weight was heavy on his mind, heart, soul. He couldn't accept the fact that the love of his life was gone. How can you smile again after life gave you the most precious thing in life then took it away from you?

Religious people say that only in hell people suffer. Akira wasn't sure at all. The earth is the real pain. Reality is suffering, not hell. He was living in his own painful reality.

He ran home feeling his stomach twisting in his body and his head spinning so fast he was afraid to fall on the pavement. It was nearly midday, he was tired, hungry and sad. His iPhone was unloaded and he couldn't answer the calls or the messages. Surely his mother and his manager called him a lot this morning.

He finally arrived sighing to let the air leaving his nose; then opened the door. Something big and hairy immediately jumped on Akira's chest making him falling on the floor. Akira was about to cry when he saw his big dog licking and kissing his face.

Sid was trying telling him “ _Ehi dad, I miss u a lot!!_ ”

Akira smiled to himself.

Then decided to take some hours to work out. He didn't want to meet people, so he preferred to not go to the gym and stayed home.

He took a little mat, two dumbbells, one kettlebell. He put on some rock music to distract himself and washing away the bad memories.

He, non only, had a little private gym in his big house but also a big bathtub, or better, two big bathtubs. One of them was an hydromassage bathtub and was larger than a three-seats sofa. The two restrooms were big enough for five people to stay inside comfortably.

The kitchen was enormous with a big tables and comfort seats. The living room was the best part of the house: there was a giant lcd television, two huge amplifiers and three DVD player. There was also a modern fireplace decorated in white marble. The two sofas where so big that probably someone could lie down on them and sleep easily.

Then there was two big bedrooms: one of them was used for the guests who came visiting Akira and Taeko years ago. In the guests room, Taeko used to hang the wall all of his paintings; now the room was empty with only two lamps, white empty bed and a grey carpet. Taeko loved painting and drawing, she was a sensitive soul, an artistic one. Akira loved that side of her.

The house had also two small rooms where Akira decided to put a big dog's bed for his non-human best friend; there was also a cute elegant garden around the building where flowers grew up flourishing.

Akira felt so alone in his house, probably because the building was too big for a single human being or maybe because he missed his ex-wife deeply.

When he stopped working out he took a shower then finally switched on his phone.

He missed three calls from his manager and one from his mom.

He decided he didn't care.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was afternoon.

The sun was already going down. It was the 23rd of November and that meant that the days where short and the nights were longer and longer. Winter time is the most interesting period of the year. It's very dark, cold and mysterious but paradoxically the cities are decorated with lights, neon and christmas decorations. The days are shorter but people walked outside the most to meet friends or buying gifts. It seemed like winter was a terrifying monster who comes only once in a year to scare people, and the only way to attack him is to decorate the town with lights, colors and sounds.

That's what Akira thought when he was a baby. He thought that every single season was a different creature: winter was a monster, spring was a fairy, summer was a fire-superhero and autumn was a beautiful lady. He also thought that grey days were the most interesting because you could decorated them as you want. Grey is the best color, because you can cover it as you like. Akira loved grey. He loved winter days too.

He went out in the Ginza district and found himself walking in the main street he knew too well. After ten minutes of walking, on a left side road, there's the small Starbucks coffee.

Akira immediately knew how to spend the afternoon.

His footsteps were faster and faster like he was about to miss the train in the station. He reached the place breathless. Was he _running_? _Why_?

He came in, and ordered immediately a Venti Flat White with no sugar. He took a look around.

In the smallest table of the room was sitting the mysterious guy wearing sunglasses, he didn't wear the hat today. The guy was looking at one point in front of him he seems concentrated; he was listening to some music from his iPhone with earplugs drinking a coffee. Akira noticed there was an available front seat in the table next to the one where the guy with black sunglasses was sitting.

He couldn't explain why, but he decided he _had_ to go sitting in that seat.

He reached the table and started getting undressed of his long coat and scarf. He posed all his belongings on the table together with his iPhone and keys. He finally sat down staring inexplicably at the mysterious guy. He couldn't really tell why he was so fascinated, he just couldn't stop looking at him; he just payed attention to not being captured by the other man. He looked at his coffee, casually taking a look on the right side of the table, looking at the wall occasionally.

The boy was surely smaller than Akira, he was shorter and very thin. He was wearing a big pair of black sunglasses, a beige elegant sweater and black jeans. The shoes were sporty and casual but very expensive. His hands were small, manicured without nailpolish but very pretty: the arch of his nails was perfectly rounded. His hands were holding a giant mug of coffee rubbing the hot surface to warm his body. Akira couldn't tell if his face was pleasing or not, because the sunglasses covered half of his face. He noticed the boy had a very pretty nose and pretty pink lips. From the seat where he was, he could even notice a small mole on his chin.

It was _so strange_. The boy seemed to be very beautiful and probably interesting (Akira could tell since the mysterious guy probably lived in the Ginza district so he could surely be an important person), but why was he alone sitting on a cafeteria basically every afternoon?

This seemed so strange to Akira that for a moment he thought the guy could had been waiting for someone. He didn't think about this possibility. Probably the guy is waiting for his girlfriend or one of the girl who worked in the bar, who knows.

His thoughts were so deep that Akira didn't notice his elbow was hitting the top of his cup and accidentally the cup fell on the table pouring over the drink. Akira jumped on his seat surprised and immediately apologized with the mysterious guy for the inconvenience.

“I'm so sorry, I must be tired and that happens when you are sleep deprived” Akira spoke softly to the guy.

The other person couldn't hear him, probably for the high volume music he was listening to and he didn't even turn his head on his right to look at what was happening.

One costumer reached Akira's table helping him cleaning the surface and the floor covered in milk. Akira felt so stupid he found himself blushing for the misadventure. He cleaned his jumper and went straight to the restroom to check if everything was ok. He came back to his table and sat down again.

The strangest thing was that the boy, not only didn't hear him or replied something, he didn't even paid attention to him, not even for a second. He seemed so comfortable with his coffee and his music that he was really not interested in what's going on in the world and on the planet he was living in.

Akira did a mop disgusted. He immediately understood what kind of people that guy could be: a snobbish, probably a rich boy raised in a rich family, an intellectual who thinks he is on a higher level than the other persons. The blonde model felt a strange feelings inside his guts, like someone punched him in the stomach. That's why the guy never gave Akira a single look since the first day he saw him. He probably is a famous politician's son or something similar. Akira hated that people, that _elite_ of corrupted persons. Not only the boy with sunglasses was a spoiled person, he was rude too because he didn't even try helping Akira with his 'incident'.

Why are people like this?

_Rude people are the worst –_ thought Akira.

He finished his coffee trying not to look too nervous and trying ignoring the person on the table on his right. It was difficult but he succeeded.

 


	5. Five.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beutiful people! I'm so happy because my story is growing in popularity and especially because I bought a vip ticket to meet the GazettE and this is the best thing that ever happened in my life. I haven't realized it yet lol I will probably cry when I will but...nevermind! I'm hyped for this story, I hope you enjoy this chapter (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Five.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Suzuki? Are you ready?” a male voice shouted from the other room.

Akira was sitting in the dressing room in front of a large mirror where some makeup artists and hairstylist were trying giving him the best look of the night. His face was less tired than it looked like the other days; still Akira felt very bored and stressed.

He didn't sleep the last night and he felt like giving up everything, standing up from the chair and leaving. Thank god today there was one of his closest friend, a famous and talented makeup artist. Yuu was a long time friend of Akira and also his favorite makeup artist. They got along so well, Akira got to call him every time he needed makeup on his face. Yuu was a good person, he was older than Akira, had black shiny long hair and his nails eternally painted black. Yuu loved jewerly and he did wear them every day: seven rings in total per hand, tons of necklaces and an extreme number of bracelets who kept jingling with every move he made. Akira thought Yuu was very beautiful, with pretty facial features, plump lips and sweet eyes. Not only he was beautiful, Yuu was very kindhearted: he was next to Akira's side when he needed support the most. Yuu knew too well how things go in the fashion industry. He met a lot of famous people and heard many stories that he could write a book or maybe a guide “how to be famous and not going crazy” since he heard of many models ruining their own life because they couldn't have a decent life like normal people do.

Akira always felt home when he was with Yuu. Everything seemed funnier and easier.

Even today, the fashion show that was about to start didn't seem to stressing to Akira, probably because Yuu was with him.

Akira hated spending hours and hours talking with unknown faces, beautiful foreigners faces who kept talking to him in english, telling fake compliments and making stupid jokes. Akira could easily tell how fake people were around him: their faces spoke for them. Their fake emotions, fake smiles, fake words.

Fake.

Fake.

_Fake_.

Before Akira's head started spinning, he decided to close his eyes and came back to reality.   
He opened his eyes doing deep sighs. 

Yuu finished his work on Akira's beautiful face adjusting his brows and his cheeks with professional products. Akira watched himself in the mirror's reflection and smiled.

“Done, you are perfect. As usual” Yuu confirmed putting his brushes in his big beauty case.

Akira stood up from the chair and went to Yuu, hugging him tightly. The makeup artist hugged him back caressing his back.

“I may be very beautiful, but you are the best makeup artist in the world. Thank you Yuu, I love you” Akira whispered slowly.

“You are modest and a little bit of a pander, but I love you too Aki”

They both laughed until someone entered in the room interrupting the two friends.

“Akira it's time!” a male photographer announced the beginning of today fashion show.

Akira was a little bit nervous. The stylist asked him to perform on the runaway at the end of the show and that meant that Akira had to close the show and that meant that everyone in the crowd had to wait for him till the end. That made him even more nervous. He was so famous that everyone told him to perform as latest. His mom would be so proud of his son.

Akira smiled bitterly.

He went to the backstage waiting in silence and drinking a soft-flavored cocktail. His head was spinning so fast that he could feel the veins of his brain pulsating at every beat of his heart.

A girl reached for him minutes later.

“Hi Aki-chan, how are you?”

The girl was a famous 30 years old model. Her name was Itsuko. She was gorgeous, obviously. Akira met her so many times during fashion shows that he could consider her his life-time colleague. Akira didn't lie when he told Yuu that Itsuko had a crush on him since the first time they met. They met way years before than Akira met with Taeko. They've always been good friends, but the girl became infatuated with him immediately. She was very envious of Taeko and she never spoke to her. When she knew about Akira's divorce she tried appearing sad or sorry for him but she failed, at least for Akira's eyes. She was cute and friendly, but Akira never liked her in that way.

They used to end up in some pubs together drinking and making out in some hotel's room when they were younger but Akira never felt something for her.

She never gave up on him and tried to get near him, especially in the last months.

“Hi Itsuko, I'm ok. I'm chilling and drinking this horrible cocktail and I pretend it's very tasty but it's not” Akira answered trying sounding as nice as he could.

“You are a liar. A beautiful liar. But a liar. You seem so nervous that it's worrying me.” she confessed. She reached his drinking taking the fine glass from his hands. “I'm gonna help you with something” she continued.

“Stop it Itsuko. I'm done with that shit. I hate drugs” Akira was getting annoying.

“See? You are a liar” she didn't mind and she took two white pills from her small bag and spilled them in the cocktail, blending all together with the straw.

“Drink, Akira. You'll feel better” she said kissing his cheek.

He tried turning her away.

“Have fun tonight Itsuko.” Akira's voice was low and toneless. He drunk the cocktail, not leaving one single drop in the glass. He then left the glass in Itsuko's hand.

“Have fun Akira,   
I love you” she said staring at the floor.

But no one heard her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Azumi? What do you want?” Akira screamed at the phone. He was so irritated today.

“ _Good afternoon to you too Aki-chan. You are always so rude towards your sister._ ” Azumi spoke sarcastically.

“It's not me. It's you who call me in the wrong moments. Anyway I'm fine, I had a fashion show last night. I want to rest a little bit.”

“ _Ok no need to shout in my ears. I was just worried because I saw some videos from last night and you seemed so upset. You deserve to leave the stress out of your life. That's it._ ” her feminine voice was tender and calm.

“No! That's not it! You know what? I'm fucking tired of all of this. I'm fucking tired of all of you! Leave me alone Azumi, please. Tell mom I just need to stay on my own for at least one week. See you...”

“ _Aki pleas-_ ”

Akira didn't let his sister speaking and closed the call flapping his phone on his bed. The small metallic rectangle bounced on the white surface.

_Fuck_.

He thought, while going to the bathroom to take a shower. He took it slowly and easily.

He was tired of his life. He was tired of himself. He thought he could go on and move on with his career but no. Nothing and no one could give him back all the things he lost.   
He had too many mental breakdowns lately and all his mother could say in those situations was 'It will be ok, just rest a little bit'.

He was even tired of sleeping.

Tired of being alive.  
Is maybe this called 'depression'?

Akira felt like 'depression' was way too reductive to describe his mental state.

The shower got longer than expected. He stood under the hot water until his muscles got loose.

He went to the bedroom walking naked around his house. Little drops of water falling from his hair fell on the floor.

He got dressed in the most casual way. He didn't even styled his hair. He dressed simply with a shirt, blue jeans and a big jumper. He took his long coat and the pack of cigarettes and left his apartment.

He knew exactly where he wanted to go.

It took him only 15 minutes by walking to stand in front of the main entrance of the small hidden Starbucks bar.

He came in and he was basically running hurried like something was waiting for him.

He forgot today was Saturday and the place was, unfortunately, crowded. He waited in the line patiently.

When it was his turn he ordered a giant mug of coffee with a slice of carrot cake, his favorite cake. He paid and then turned around to look for a free seat.

There wasn't.

So he went upstairs.

The only available seats were the ones facing the glass windows with high tables and high stools.

One seat was occupied by that guy Akira immediately recognized as the 'mysterious sunglasses guy'.

He didn't even blink and went straightforward in that direction.

“Excuse me sir, is this seat taken?” he asked clearing his voice.

The mysterious boy replied. “No, it's free.”

His voice electroshocked Akira for some seconds. He never heard a voice like that in all his life.

It was....deep and warm. Like a soft blanket.

Akira sat down posing the mug and the plate on the table. From that position he could see Ginza and the beautiful city lights.

“I apologize for sitting here but the place today is really crowded” the blonde model asserted trying a taste of the cake.

“No problem! The bar is very crowded indeed, that's why I chose to sit here” the guy answered in a soft tone; his voice was like salted caramel.

“Well, nice choice. You can see this amazing panorama.”

“Yeah it's beautiful” the guy answered drinking his hot tea. He didn't mind taking his sunglasses off.

Akira was getting more comfortable with the idea that probably the guy was a famous persona. His clothes were very modest but the best quality. He seemed spoiled and mean in a sense, but his voice was very cool.

“Do you come here often?” Akira asked, drinking his hot american coffee.

“Yes” the other said. “I come here basically everyday.”

The guy's voice seemed so sexy yet so soft and sweet. Akira felt like he was tasting a delicious drink for the first time in his life. That voice was like drinking the most delicious thing in the world. Caramel, orange, dark chocolate.

How can a voice be so addicting?

Akira couldn't stop asking questions, just because he wanted to hear the man talking.

“Cool! I like this place because is quiet and nice and very warm. I feel like hiding in a safe place every time I come here”

Silence.

The blonde felt a bit awkward. Did he say something unkind?

“I've never seen it in this way. It's interesting. It seems like your work doesn't satisfy you completely...” the sunglasses-guy murmured.

“What? Ehm...Yeah. I mean, not really” Akira didn't know what to say.

“I take it as a 'yes'. Definitely”

The man laughed and Akira felt like his heart was lighter. He felt his veins pumping blood in his body.

Akira laughed too.

“Are you a sort of mind-reader? Or a psychologist?” Akira asked.

He turned his head to the right to admire the man.   
That man was _beautiful_. He had black wavy hair and soft pale skin. His hair was long but not so much; they were just caressing his shoulders. He seemed so petite compared to Akira. His whole body was small. He reminded Akira of a girl in a way, probably because of the way he moved his head and the size of his body, but his voice was very mainly and deep.

Oh, and his gestures too.

The mysterious man used to move a lot his hands while talking: his hands appeared like small butterflies doing a sensual dance for the people to see. It was like the mysterious guy was communicating with his own hands more than he did with his mouth.

It was so fascinating.

“I wish I was.” the man replied touching his black hair with a finger.

Akira listened to the tone of his voice. It seemed... _sad_. He couldn't get why the man seemed to be lost in his own thoughts.

The blonde model observed the man's face more accurately: his cheeks were rounded and chubby and his nose was big with a curved shape that looked perfectly on his face. His facial features weren't so cute if you stared at them individually, but in the whole he was _beautiful_. His nose was big but looked so pretty on him. And his lips looked like they were painted or sculptured. They were pink and plumped; a perfect decoration for his shy hidden smiles.

“I love the winter panorama in Ginza”

Akira whispered in a low voice.

The other man took a sip of his tea.

“Yes...it's stunning”

He didn't seem very chatty but at the same time Akira felt like he could tell the stranger everything. He could even talk with him about his most hidden and twisted secrets.

_That's so awkward._

Akira kept eating his carrot cake and drinking his coffee. He looked at the panorama from the windows but sometimes tried giving a look to the man sitting next to him. He tried to not look too creepy but it was very difficult to move his own eyes from his persona. 

"I think I am hungry" said the black-haired man. He was about to stand up, probably to go downstairs getting something to eat. Akira interrupted him.

"Do you mind If I offer you something? I think I'm hungry too. I just ate a slice of cake but I feel like my stomach needs more sugars today. I will buy something for both of us, Do you mind....ehm-?"

"Takanori, I'm Takanori"

"Do you mind, Takanori, If I ruin my own diet buying two extra slices of cake?" Akira asked with a funny voice.  
The other man laughed, consenting and placing his sunglasses on his nose. Akira smiled back.

Outside it started snowing. The snowflakes fell delicately on the roofs of the high buildings of Ginza.   
The snow and the sky seemed brighter today. 

 


	6. Six.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello world! I'm happy to share this story with you, it means a lot to me.  
> Thank you all for reading my fanfiction, I love you ヾ(☆▽☆)

Six.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The working day seemed endless.

Akira wan't tired or stressed. He was just...bored. He wanted to go home and playing with his lovely Sid.

He deeply missed his big doggo. Sid always seemed so happy to be alive, something that Akira couldn't relate. He could not deny that spending time with his dog made him feel better. His dog was the most precious thing he had in his life. He was part of his family, in fact he decided to buy Sid a small dog-house to play and sleep in the garden outside his huge villa.

Every time Akira felt sad, he immediately thought about his dog waiting for him at home and everything turned out to be brighter and easier.

Adopting Sid had been the best decision of his life.

Akira that day was posing for a long shoot for a autumn/winter campaign. The clothes he was wearing were from a luxurious male fashion brand. He was stunning, obviously. He was wearing an elegant business suit, a black one, with black leather gloves and elegant leather shoes. The room where the shoot took place was covered in mirrors and white panels to reflect the lights. Akira could watch himself in the mirrors: all he could see was a tall blonde man, with a symmetric face and a perfect structured body. He was the older model in the room; still he was the sexiest and the most comfortable in front of cameras. His mother was right when she told him once: “Aki, you were born to be a model”

He wasn't so sure. Or better. He knew his beauty was very powerful, but he felt like his personality couldn't fit in the fashion world. He was way too sensitive, too caring and kind to be part of this industry. What could it happen if he wasn't that beautiful?

Probably he ended up living a different life; with different friends, different colleagues and, probably, a different love.

Yutaka used to tell him (very often indeed) the same line “Akira, you have two flaws: you are too beautiful and you think too much. Just reduce one of them”

And he was damn right.

Akira was too beautiful to pretend he wasn't.

And mostly: he had the bad habit of thinking too much, in any situation.

Surely he could not do something to be less beautiful, but to think less...well he could try at least. Maybe everything could turn out to be easier. Maybe life isn't that difficult.

Akira took a look around.

The other models felt a little bit intimidated by his presence, probably because Akira was very famous and of course working with such a famous persona must be very terryfing.

Akira sill remembers all the emotions he felt the first time he met the most famous fashion designers. He felt dumb and uncomfortable but in less than some months he became the muse of many of them. Taeko was the favorite muse of Kenzo, a famous Japanese brand.

Akira still remembers Taeko's runaways during the fashion shows: she was the most elegant and gorgeous woman of Japan.

He felt a strange feeling in his heart, thinking about the ex wife. It's like remembering a vivid dream all of a sudden the day after. He felt like he dreamed his whole life, and now he was living in the painful reality.

“Done!”

The photographer shouted to the staff.

“10 minutes break!”

Akira relaxed from holding the same pose for at least one hour straight. He smiled to the male model next to him. He was korean and had big eyes and a beautiful white smile.

“It was a pleasure to work with you Suzuki” the model whispered shyly.

The blonde man showed a thumb up and smiled.

“It's my pleasure to work with younger models as talented as you are”

Akira decided to have a cigarette and went in another room.

He opened the window and lighted the nicotine stick. After some seconds Akira's manager came in.

“Mr Nakamura!”

“Suzuki! Sorry If I interrupted your break. I just completed your work schedule for the next week. I sent you an email with all the appointments. I hope it won't turn out to be too stressing for you.”

Akira inhaled a deep cigarette shot.

“It's funny because it seems like you care about my mental health more than my mother do. She could take your position and becoming my new manager instead. Anyway...thank you Nakamura. I will do my best.”

Nakamura winked to Akira and left a small slap on his shoulder.

Akira decided to remain for a while on the balcony of the building finishing his cigarette. He took his iPhone and opened the gallery searching for his favorite folder. > **MY LIFE DOGGO <  **He then opened the folder scrolling down the album to look at the photos of his huge pet. There were pictures of Sid at the seaside taking a bath in the water, pictures of Akira and Sid in a park completely covered in sweat, pictures of Sid for his 3rd birthday and so on.

Akira's heart almost broke in tiny little pieces thinking about him and how much important Sid is for him. He owes him his whole life and he wasn't lying when he thought that Sid saved his life so many times. Humans can be so fragile sometimes. Animals, especially dogs, are probably a sign of strength, something a person can rely on when going through the darkest times of life.

He was so lucky to have Sid by his side.

Not only Sid of course. Akira must admit a lot of people cared for him, for his health and for his life. His mother, his sister and his friends too. He was lucky, in a sense. So...why did he always feel like something was missing? Like something was going wrong.

Like something wasn't in its right place.

Akira realized he was doing it again.

Thinking too much, dreaming too much, reflecting too much.

He should stop from now on. His mind became his worst enemy.

How could a man be able to get rid of his mind? Probably doing something crazy and completely senseless.

And Akira knew it immediately.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If someones asked Akira what he was doing lately in his life he could probably answer something like 'I love spending my free time in a Starbucks. The same small hidden Starbucks' and the person could legitimately think that Akira was getting older or crazy.

Probably both things are true.

Akira was 35 now, he was a mature man and he was probably getting inclined in doing crazy stuff. He could never explain what was happening to him in this period. He never thought he could be so nervous and excited at the same time about going into a cafeteria and ordering an americano. That's so crazy that he stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to laugh at himself.

He was surely getting older, getting excited for the small things.

Or is there something else?

There is, but Akira didn't mind thinking about it.

He reached the bar in the faster time. He was dying to get inside the shop.

He came in and didn't even mind about people talking, cashiers tinkling the coins or the noise from the coffee machine. His mind focused the attention on a small table near the wall.

It was 5.37 pm and he was there.

The boy with the black sunglasses.

_Takanori_.

Akira waved his hand but the boy didn't notice him. He then tried to not look upset and ordered a giant mocha latte with cinnamon. He waited impatiently for his drink to be prepared by the barmaid. The girl was very good at making cappuccinos and hot chocolates and she seemed so comfortable managing all the hot drinks in her hands.

The girl shouted his name.

“It's me” Akira answered taking the hot beverage in his hands. The girl looked at him with a surprised face. Akira thought something was on his nose or chin. Did he properly washed his makeup off?

“Are you Akira Suzuki? The famous model?” the barmaid whispered in a low, sweet voice.

“I am” he replied winking at the girl.

She blushed violently and since she couldn't hold his gaze she kept his eyes down.

“Do you mind if I ask you for an autograph?” her voice was trembling.

“Sure. No problem. Is it fine if I write on one those paper-glass? I don't have any piece of paper with me”

The girl didn't even blink and immediately handed a paper-take-away-mug to the blonde model. She was looking at him with shy eyes and kept smiling. Akira took a pen from his bag and wrote the name of the girl on the glass signing it with his surname and a small heart drawn down the paper.

The girl stayed motionless for a while, then thanked him with a curtsy.

He felt relieved when he noticed the girl didn't speak a work to her colleagues. That's why he loved place like that where people aren't rude and don't act like they are your long time friends.

Akira felt like it was _right_ to go sitting in front of the mysterious guy. He missed his low deep candy voice.

“It's a nice surprise to see you here again.” Akira said gently. “Do you mind if I sit here?”

The guy didn't react as expected he just did something with his hand to say 'No problem, have a seat'.

Akira was a little bit confused.

“I'm the guy you talked to the other day. We were sitting upstairs” he said almost laughing. Isn't so difficult for the guy to recognize him? He was Akira Suzuki, how could the guy not even found his face in some perfume's advertising?

The mysterious guy didn't seem so impressed.

“Oh yeah, I remember you”

His voice was tender and strong at the same time. A contradiction.

“You know, the girl at the coffee machine recognized me. She even asked me for an autograph”

Akira decided to play the game. This time he must win. That's Akira's first move, now it's the other man's turn.

“Really? Are you a famous person?” Takanori was genuinely surprised.

Was he really asking Akira if he was famous? Akira's face was glued everywhere in Tokyo and the sunglasses-guy asked him if he was famous. That's so ridiculous.

“I'm Suzuki. The famous model. My last business was with Bulgari and there are so many manifestos around the city of the new campaign” Akira's voice sounded more upset than ever.

“Ah, fine. I'm not really interested in fashion and models. Seems cool”

The boy didn't seems so disposed to have a talk or maybe that was just his personality.

Akira felt like he missed something important.

Was he getting annoying?

Perhaps yes.

To be very honest, Akira just invaded a person's personal space for no reason at all and he even expected that the other person could appreciate.

Probably the guy was always waiting for someone in this Starbucks and that explained his constant presence here. And probably the guy wasn't really interested in fashion or meeting new people.

“I feel like I'm bothering you. I apologize, I think it's better if I go home I have somet-” Akira stood up and took the beverage in his hands ready to leave.

“No! It's ok! You're not bothering me at all” his voice was genuine.

His tone was soft and sexy.

How could only a voice be so addicting?

Akira sat down again.

“It's okay. Last time I talked to you, you seemed so introvert and mean. You didn't really want to talk to me. And today you seemed very bored. I feel like I said something bad. If it's like that, I just apologize”

Akira never really apologized for something in his life. Everything in his daily routine was right; his mother taught him that no matter what, he will always be on the right side of the situation. But now......he was _very_ sorry and the words left his mouth so easily, he was astonished.

“It's ok, I never thought you bothered me or something similar. Why did you think so?” the man's voice was very kind and sweet.

Akira looked at him intensely.

“I don't like to talk to people when they wear sunglasses” Akira's voice was firm.

He was about to win the game.

The man acted surprised then decided to take the sunglasses off posing them delicately on the table.

Akira fainted for one second.

The man's face seemed like a porcelain doll's visage. His features were cute and sensual: he had a very curved nose, a chubby shape-face, and pale skin. His lips seemed plumper and bigger now that he didn't wear his big sunglasses. All his facial features suited him perfectly. Even his droll ears looked perfect on him. Even his little dark moles were cute.

How can a face be so beautiful?

And then he noticed the eyes. They weren't really big, but they were very expressive. The color of his irises was light, soft brown. His eyes seemed like... _covered_ with something, like a small dimmed glaze was partially caressing his bulbs. His eyes seemed...turned off, like a dark room with no lights. They seemed empty.

Takanori's gaze was traveling everywhere.

Then Akira understood and he felt a shiver going through his spine. All his body acted like someone electroshocked him.

Was the man... _blind_?

The blonde man tried moving his hands and shifted the man's mug in a different position but he didn't notice. He _didn't see_.

Akira coughed.

“I think now you understand why I keep my sunglasses on all the time.”

That voice was like sugar for Akira's ears.

“Ah...It-It's o-ok, I didn't mean to-”

“It's fine. You could not know I am blind. Thats why I probably never saw you in the last Bulgari campaign shooting”

Akira felt so stupid he just wanted to stand up and run away from the situation.

How could he think that the boy was like that? How could he imagine something similar?

Now everything made sense. It's not that the boy never noticed Akira, he never... _saw_ him.

And to think about it, the only things Akira talked about was the beautiful Ginza panorama, the nice cakes in the shop window and the fashion shows manifestos.

How stupid.

How _idiot._

“I apologize” Akira was speechless.

“Again? There's no need to apologize. It's ok!” the other man laughed.

They both stood there in silence, no one talked in a short period of time.

Akira took a sip of his mocha latte.

“So...is it your name Suzuki? You didn't tell me last time” the other asked.

“Yes, my name is Akira Suzuki. Call me Akira please”

“And...are you a model?”

Akira felt so guilty right now he blushed softly.

“I am. I'm very famous in Japan and in the USA too. I worked with so many different fashion designers. I've been doing this for seventeen years!”

Takanori smiled and Akira didn't feel guilty anymore.

“That's a lot of time. Congratulations!”

Akira felt a little bit uncomfortable.

“Your name is Takanori, isn't it?”

The boy moved his mug closer to him and took a sip of the drink. He smiled.

“It is. I'm Takanori Matsumoto”

Silence, again.

They were both sitting in front of the other person drinking the hot beverages. Akira kept looking at the small details of Takanori's body. The clothes, the shoes, his small bag, his tidy nails. He was wearing a small and elegant ring on his right index finger.

Akira immediately felt the need to know who gave him that ring.

“You're a model, then. You must be very beautiful”

Takanori spoke naturally like he was speaking to his best friend.

Akira felt like he didn't have to feel guilty or uncomfortable with the situation.

“Well, yes...I am. That's what people mostly tell me. I have to recognize that I've always been beautiful but expensive creams and gym works fine when your job is about the way you look and not the way you are or feel inside”

Takanori seemed very interested in the conversation he even put a elbow on the table, posing his chin on his open palm.

“You always talk like you are being very modest or just tired of your work. I heard people saying that beauty is something very powerful. You are lucky, indeed.”

Akira seemed like something pierced his heart.

How can this be possible?

“Well If I have to be very honest...you are very beautiful too”

The words left Akira's mouth like the wind passing through the leaves of an ancient tree.

Takanori posed his blear gaze on the table smiling.

“Well...I should work as a model too then”

“You are too short to be a model!” Akira whispered smiling.

The other kicked Akira's right leg with a sneaker shoe.

They both ended up laughing.

“How impertinent!”

Takanori looked like he was very angry but his voice tone was soft and funny.

Their laughing was so high that someone turned their heads in their directions watching them with annoyed eyes.

 

Akira never spent a good winter day afternoon like that since years.

Winter could have been his new favorite season.

 


	7. Seven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI everyone!! I'm back in town with a short chapter but it's so sweet that it makes my heart warm and hope so do yours~ Everything in this chapter is about dreaming. I love talking about dreaming because it's both creepy and cute lol

Seven.

 

 

 

  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Something humid and slimy was touching insistently Akira's cheek forcing him to open his eyes and taking a look around him. He tried waking up his own mind but he felt like he needed some extra minutes of sleep.

The thing didn't stop and kept licking Akira's face and neck. Two big hairy paws started moving on Akira's chest and abdomen. Sid was happily trying waking his owner up but Akira didn't seem to agree on this.

He opened his eyes and forced himself to a standing position. He took a look around him. He saw his huge matrimonial bed, the two big wardrobes, a white mat close to the bed and three tall minimalist lamps near the walls of the bedroom. Everything was in its right place.

But Akira felt like someone has been in his room some hours ago. He tried convincing himself that he was dreaming.

What was Akira dreaming about?

The answer was easiest than it seemed.

Meanwhile Sid was happily jumping on the white mat and all around the room celebrating his owner waking up. Akira smiled looking into his dog's eyes.

He then remembered everything.

He was dreaming of Takanori.

He dreamt that Takanori entered in his house, in his bedroom watching him sleeping at night.

This seemed so awkward since Takanori could never see Akira; nor sleeping in his bed nor otherwise.

But what was Takanori doing in Akira's bedroom? In his dream?

And...why?

“Woofff!!”

Akira turned his head on the left.

“Good morning baby! We're going out in 30 minutes don't worry!”

It took all his body energy to drive his own persona out of the bed. He went to the bathroom and decided to not shave his face.

He had some days off from work and this could be a good chance to not take care of his skin compulsively. The worst part of his job was the aesthetics. Skin care, working out, running in the morning, massages, SPAs, makeup artists and hairstylists. Everything in Akira's life was meant to take care of his skin, of his face, of his beauty.

But who was interested in taking care of his soul?

Maybe not even himself was interested in such a thing.

Yutaka once told him that after spending so much time in the v.i.p. industry you are not allowed to have a soul anymore. Maybe that's exactly what was happening to him.

He dressed in casual and simple clothes with sporty pants and a t shirt. Tons of clothing-layers covering his body before going out with Sid to the park, facing the morning cold.

When the pair took a step outside the villa, Sid immediately started running up and down for the contentment. Akira smiled watching his dog running happily in the streets.

They went to the park where there were so many dogs running in the grass and playing with their owner.

Akira sat on a bench blowing cold air from his mouth. He was sure he could have died for freezing too much that morning.

He took a look around: there were some high school students walking in the park laughing, two old women slowly strolling and a man talking to the phone while playing with his dog. There were many other people walking around, they were too distant for Akira to notice.

He kept looking at places around him.

What was he looking for?

He _wasn't_ here obviously.

Why was Akira thinking about that blind boy? Why was Akira looking for him in public spaces?

This was so awkward.

Akira thought for a moment about how stupid he could sound.

The lack of sleep has its negative consequences.

 

 

 

When Sid got tired of running and jumping around the park, Akira decided to go back home. His phone started vibrating in his winter jacket.

“Moshi moshi?!”

“Dear..how ya doin'?” a familiar voice made him smile.

“Hello mom, doing good. I think I am tired”

“Why do I hear the same thing over and over again? You are always tired dear! You should sleep more and do something healthy for your life. It's about your job and your career. You can't give up. You need to take care of you” His mom's voice was worried but a little bit angry, like she wanted to reprove him like he was still a child.

Akira tried staying calm but it was so difficult. His right hand squeezing the iPhone tightly. He was getting nervous. He wasn't a child anymore.

“Mom please...just let me-”

He tried talking, explaining himself at the phone while opening the front door of his big house.

Sid immediately run into his little dog's bed and sat there calmly shaking his tail.

Akira smiled.

“Mom please, I beg you...”

“Aki-chan, all the things I tell you are good things because your mommy only wants the best for you, dear. I want you to be happy and stay healthy and-”

Something hit Akira's soul like a truck.

He tried to contain himself but immediately failed.

“Why are you talking about my own happiness? Why are you so interested in that? You and Azumi keep repeating the same things over and over again...but what did you do when my life was falling apart? You didn't move a finger when life was taking Taeko away from me. And you mom, you knew how much important she was for me. You are only interested in my career and the fame I got after all these years. You don't care about your son at all.

Don't you dare talking about happiness to me like that.”

He hanged his phone flinging it somewhere on the sofa.

He went to bathroom and closed the door sitting on the floor. Slowly some tears drew invisible lines on his cheeks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is it possible for a human being to live in an imaginary world all his life?

Probably yes, since Akira have been living in his own world since he was a child. In his world there was no pain, no suffering and it's always sunny. He felt safe in that world and he went there every time he needed to be protected from the real world. People in the real world can be very cruel, senseless and loveless.

Akira maybe was too sensitive for the real world.

He sometimes felt that if he wasn't that beautiful he would be probably unemployed, ugly and with no friends. He has nothing special inside of him, at least that's what he thought of himself.

He wasn't depressed. He was just nothing. He felt like he was a ghost. If someone could try touching him, the hand would probably pass through his body, crossing the skin like he was made of air.

In his imaginary world everything was different. He was smiley, living his life with Taeko, surrounded by their two kids and Sid jumping in the garden of the beautiful villa. That could sound trivial and stupid, but, for Akira, that would be a dream. Like a child dreams of his favorite superhero.

But most of the dreams never come true. If a dream comes true, is it still a dream?

That's a question that Akira kept answering to himself in the last years.

He was going out from his house, his comfort zone, his private world to go under the snowy atmosphere in Tokyo. It was damn cold he felt like the weather was reflecting his inner soul.

Where was Akira going?

Akira himself tried to avoid the answer probably because it's easier to not accept the fact that the little Starbucks bar was entering in his small imaginary world.

There was no reason at all to go there basically every day, but the felt inside his guts that it was _right_.

When he was about to enter he didn't even open the door and immediately looked at the inside. The place was very crowded. He came in and didn't mind to order something. He just wanted to talk to him.

_To Takanori._

He turned his head around but didn't recognize the short guy with sunglasses.

He looked for him in every table on the ground floor. He wasn't near the wall, not even on the high tables near the shop windows. Not even upstairs. Akira even went to the toilets to look for him but he seemed vanished.

_Vanished._

What a fool he was.

How stupid.

How idiot.

How immature.

How immature to think that Takanori was there when he needed to talk to someone.

Who was Takanori after all? A stranger, nothing more.

No one was there.

He didn't even try to look calm and order something, he just went straightforward to the exit door but a female voice called him softly.

Turning his head around he recognized the girl of the other day who asked him for an autograph. She seemed very sweet and shy and very respectful since she didn't shout Akira's name in public but reached for him and talked in a soft voice.

“Sorry If I scared you” she whispered sweetly. Her cheeks turning red.

“It's ok....I'm just surprised” Akira was being honest.

“A man came here during lunch time and asked me if I ever talked to 'Akira Suzuki'. He seemed to know you, maybe it's a colleague so I told him the truth. I told him I recognized you the other day and he gave me this piece of paper with his phone number. He told me to give it to you and he even paid a slice of carrot cake for you”

The girl's voice seemed a little bit surprised and irritated at the same time while she was talking. Akira didn't really get why the girl felt so uncomfortable, he just couldn't stop staring at the small piece of beige paper with small numbers written on it.

He tried to contain his excitement.

Was he dreaming?

And...if a dream comes true, is it still a dream?

 


	8. Eight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful people! I hope you missed my story and you didn't forget about it (ಠ⌣ಠ)

Eight.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_Hello?_

 

_Who is it?_

 

_I'm Akira ehm..Akira Suzuki_

 

_Oh, hi Akira!_

 

_I, ehm, I..was, you know, thinking tthat m-maybe...you know about, going out for a date?_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Getting ready was probably harder than Akira could imagine.

It seemed unbelievable but him, Akira Suzuki, the most famous model in Japan, was finding hard dressing properly for a date. Was he probably nervous?

He wasn't just nervous.....he was terrified.

He felt like everything wasn't good enough for the day.

Sid noticed his lovely dad was so nervous that he didn't even try to jump or to bark. Sid just decided to spend the morning playing with his little toys and sleeping on his dog bed.

Meanwhile Akira tried on at least four different outfits. After one hour he looked at his reflection in the mirror and shouted at himself:

“Are you really trying looking good for a date with a blind person? You stupid fool!”

He then laughed so much that his cheeks hurt.

How is it that Akira felt so nervous, feeling the urge to look perfect to a person that wasn't able to see him?

That was the most interesting thing. For the first time in Akira's life, he couldn't rely on his appearance, nor his expensive clothes, nor his face or his styled hair. Everything was different now.

It felt like the first time, the first date, the first crush.

That was totally a new feeling.

But...was Akira able to manage all of this?

He decided to not answer the question. His last option was to dress in a casual elegant way. He wore black jeans, an elegant blue shirt and a jacket. In the end he added a soft grey scarf together with the long coat.

He kissed Sid sweetly, then left the villa.

He was earlier than expected.

Takanori told him at the phone to wait for him in a small square near the underground stop. He felt so impatient like someone waiting to unwrap all the birthday gifts. Akira was so nervous because he felt like he has been launched in a totally different world. In this new universe there was no beauty, no art, no fashion. Only words. It was so strange. Can words be attractive? Can a single sentence be considered beautiful?

Maybe words are more important than Akira thought.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He reached the place of the appointment in time. It stopped snowing some hours ago but the streets were barely covered with a white blanket. It was...magical. It's impossible to feel impassible in the winter atmosphere. The city lights seemed more colorful compared to the white panorama. A lot of people were walking in the streets, in the shops and in the underground stations. There were people literally everywhere: small groups of students eating crepes in the corners of the square, salary men running on the pavement, women holding shopping bags, guys talking to each other. Everyone seemed to enjoy the winter atmosphere, like a sort of magic spell hitting all the Japanese population.

Akira smiled.

He turned his head and noticed him.

Takanori was walking on the other side of the street moving the white stick to the right and to the left to help him facing the obstacles in the daily life and especially in the streets. He seemed confident with himself. He was wearing the famous big black sunglasses, a long beige coat and sporty sneakers. His black soft-wavy hair was decorated with some little shy snowflakes fitted in his wisps. Akira felt incredibly dumb. He was staring at him all the time and didn't move a single muscle.

Then he crossed the street and went into him.

He raised his hand to greet him but immediately changed his mind. He instead waited for him for hit his leg with the white stick.

“Excuse me sir”

He missed incredibly that deep voice.

“Hi Takanori”

The face of the man in front of him immediately changed his expression.

“Akira!”

The blond model smiled when he heard the other calling his name. It was surreal. He felt like the world around him was slowly disappearing.

“Did I scare you?” he questioned.

Takanori smiled placing the white stick in front of him.

“No, but I bet you look very scary today”

They both laughed.

Akira started walking in the opposite direction and Takanori quickly noticed it and changed his direction too to walk side by side with his date.

' _Try to not sound stupid_ '

Akira kept repeating this sentence over and over again in his head.

“So....it's really cold today, isn't it?”

Akira tried speaking but he realized he just made a fool of himself.

“Did you really ask me for a date to talk about the weather?” the shorter man stopped in the middle of the street to use the free hand to hide his laugh.

Akira blushed shyly and put his gaze down to the floor staring at his expensive shoes.

He was a disaster.

It was all a disaster.

“Well....what about the city lights during winter time? I love the atmosphere and the colors!”

“Well...I can't see a shit but I'm sure that if I was able to I would not be very impressed by the winter atmosphere! Winter to me looks like a grumpy aunt that wants to squeeze your cheeks and tells you scary stories!”

Akira blushed again and tried coughing but he noticed he was running out of saliva.

“W-What? I mean...well..ok! I'm a mess and it's going to be a mess. Can we start again from the beginning? I'm Akira, nice to meet you”

Akira's voice was half serious and half not.

Takanori laughed.

“Ehy ehy, it's ok. Let's do that....I make questions. You told me you work as a model. So... why were you spending your afternoons in that small Starbucks coffee?”

The shorter man's voice was as soft as deep. It was warm and sensual.

Akira gulped.

“Well...In the last months I strangely have more free time than usual and I love spending time in places where people don't really care about famous models like me. And what about you? What are you doing every day in that Starbucks?”

Takanori kept walking waving the sticks on the ground.

“I work part time as physiotherapist in the Ginza hospital which is not so far away from the Starbucks bar. I love going there because it's a calm place and I always find a free seat to spend the afternoons in silence. Most of the time I listen to the music or to the news”

Akira listened paying attention to every single words coming from the other's mouth. His big sunglasses were covering half of his face but Akira could still admire Takanori's pretty profile: the curved nose, the plumped lips and the beautiful elegant mole on his small chin.

“A...physiotherapist?” the blonde model asked.

“Yes...I am a physiotherapist. Most of blind people generally work as call center operators, sound technicians or physiotherapist. This job, being a physiotherapist, is the most interesting one to me. The majority of doctors around the world are strictly convinced that blind people work better in this area because we have a different way to approach with the inmates. We can't see but our other four senses are highly strengthened and we immediately recognize the bad unwell parts in someone's body. The way we approach with a patient's body is different because we only use hands to cure people who suffered several disease and slowly stopped walking or movinig an arm or an hand. We see with our hands. My fingers are my eyes.”

Akira didn't miss a single word. He paid so much attention that he did run into two different men while walking. It was pleasurable to listen to Takanori talking. His voice was enchanting.

“Wow...that's amazing. I'm pretty sure you are very good at your job” Akira concentrated to not say other stupid things.

“It seems so. Many doctors send me their patients to get cured and to help them going back walking again or moving both arms like they did before. I work with famous people too. They ask for me because some doctors started spreading my name. I don't have my private medical studio but I have to say that I can do my job very well.”

They walked side by side in silence.

Akira was very impressed. He literally felt like he was talking with an human being for the first time. All the feelings he was feeling in that moments felt new to him, like visiting a new city for the first time or tasting a new meal from another country.

Akira tried to say something but he didn't know what to do.

“I didn't think that a basic person like me could leave a famous person like you speechless! That was unexpected!”

Takanori seemed very confident. He laughed and then got rid of his sunglasses and placed them in his pocket.

His eyes moved to Akira and looked to him but didn't really see him. They were traveling from the right to the left and viceversa.

“Your outfit looks horrible by the way” Takanori stressed in a serious tone.

“What? Really? But this shirt is Giorgio Armani and- WAIT! Are you making fun of me again?” Akira's voice was so worried that he sounded like a puppy.

Takanori couldn't help but laugh again.

“Oh my god, you are so funny Akira! I love this date!” Takanori kept walking moving his stick. Akira followed him immediately.

The shorter man clashed into a group of girls drinking hot tea and chatting and he screamed at them “Ehy girls! Look around you when you walk...are you maybe blind?”

The girls looked at him with an annoyed face and kept walking in their directions.

Takanori kept screaming and then laughed moving his head into Akira's directions. Akira couldn't help but smile.

Takanori seemed so funny and confident that he felt very stupid to have been thinking about Takanori's disabilty all the days before today believing that maybe that could be a problem. Takanori didn't even seem blind; only if a person paid carefully attention could notice a thin grey layer on his eyes that made them look lighter. But, except for the with stick, Takanori was a normal person and oh, how beautiful he was.

He was moving so elegantly in the streets and he couldn't even see where he was going.

“Are you interested in fashion? I see you own very expensive clothes” the model asked in a soft voice.

“Yes! I love the good material the fashion houses use to make clothes. I love how comfortable they are! I don't care about the colors though, but I can say that the fabric is excellent. If you are asking yourself how I can combine the colors and the outfits I'll tell you a secret: my brother daily helps me with the clothes and stuff. He is my aesthetic-stylist. He really loves me and I love him so much. He takes care of me when I need to. I'm lucky to have such a brother like him. And...what about your family?”

They kept walking until they reached a small cafeteria on the ground floor of an high building. The shop was on the main street of Ginza but didn't seem as crowded as expected. They came in and took a sit near the windows where the atmosphere seemed more silent and intimate. They were sitting on a very small table, facing each other. The table was so small that it was impossible to move their own hands without touching the others's.

Akira ordered a green roasted tea with a slice of cake and Takanori ordered a giant cappuccino with a cinnamon roll.

“About my family.....my mother is my manager. She works with me since I was sixteen. My sister is a sort of co-worker but she has her own life and she didn't really get into the fashion industry like my mother did. My father divorced from my mother when I was five and since that day I've never met him again. Not a great loss though.”

“I'm sorry to hear about your father. But you are lucky to have such a supportive mother and sister!” Takanori bit his cinnamon roll chewing slowly.

“It's not like it seems. I don't want to make it tragic, but my mom really doesn't understand me. She seemed only interested in my career and every time I try telling her I want to stop all of this, she tries to prove me I'm wrong. My sister obviously agrees with her”

Akira didn't even blink when he was talking. He just met Takanori but he felt so comfortable in telling his story, talking about his family and his job.

“Why do you want to stop? I don't know much of this but you seem to have everything a man or woman wants in life. You have beauty, money, power, fame...what is wrong with this?”

Takanori's question slashed metaphorically Akira's face in less than one second.

He felt his internal organs starting bleeding.

“Probably I AM wrong. I'm not happy”

Akira concluded and drank the beverage.

“I felt your sadness since the first day I talked to you and I can't deny it. It's weird that you feel this way and you have...everything. You are beautiful” Takanori meant it.

“I don't think that beauty is all that matters and you can agree on this. For people like you beauty doesn't even exist”

“That's wrong. We see things, or better, we _touch_ them and we can define what we consider beautiful or not”

Akira still couldn't accept that every single sentence Takanori could say had the power to leave him speechless.

In a blink of an eye, Akira felt Takanori's hands on his face. His finger slowly massaged his features caressing his forehead and brows. Then the hands moved to his nose and touched calmly Akira's eyelids. Then, the fingers concentrated on Akira's soft big lips contouring the shapes.

“God, you are so beautiful Akira”

Akira swallowed.

“You are beautiful too” the blond man declared.

“Should I trust you? Or are you just saying this since I can't check it out?”

The two men laughed and Akira moved his hand to touch the back of Takanori's.

The hours went by and Akira missed the world around him. He completely forgot about the Sun and the universe.

There was only that small table, two small chairs and...Takanori.

That was enough.

 


	9. Nine.

 

Nine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Yuu! Can you please try not to stick the brush into my right eye? Thank you!”

Today had been the hardest day since months.

Akira had been working on this project for six hours non-stop and he was pretty tired of keep changing his make up and clothes.

“Yes, His Majesty. I apologize, His Majesty” Yuu answered taking an eyeshadows palette in his left hand. He started mixing some colors together on the back of his hand with a small brush. When he obtained the perfect color he started spreading the eyeshadows on Akira's eyelids.

After some minutes, Yuu's magic hands completely had the work done.

Akira's face was perfect as usual and Yuu perfectly knew how to do his job.

Akira watched his reflection on the mirror: he was wearing a deep blue eyeshadow and had his hair styled with hair gel that made his whole forehead visible. He was obviously stunning.

“Thank you Yuu, you are an amazing artist and friend. I wouldn't know where I would be without you!”

Akira admitted.

“How romantic! I've never heard such phrases from you lately. Is there something you need to tell me? You know...meeting someone?”

Yuu asked in a soft-spoken voice. Yuu knew too well how things went in his friend's life.

“What? Well...no, I mean. Maybe”

Akira said.

“That's the shit dude. I've never expected you to tell me this thing after all these months watching you being all tired and depressed. I'm so freaking happy. You need to tell me everything”

Akira smiled and for a moment he thought that Yuu was personifying perfectly the gay-stylist-stereotype in that moment.

When Akira tried to answer one of the photographers called for him in the studio. He reached the white room and posed in front of cameras.

He had all the people in the room's eyes on him. Everything in the room was looking at Akira in that moment.

He posed half naked together with other models and he made a solo photoshoot too.

It was hard to move your own eyes from his body or face. He was captivating all the vibes in the room.

At the end of the shoot some girls reached for him trying to ask him his planning for the evening. Akira didn't pay attention to anyone. He didn't even bother Yuu to use some makeup remover cream. He just decided to go out with full make up. He took his belongings and left the studio.

He took his phone from his jacket and found a vocal message from Takanori.

He couldn't hide a smile.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Akira waited for Takanori to terminate his job outside the hospital.

He was still wearing makeup and his hair was still styled in the most fashion way but he decided to wear a white mask to obfuscate himself in the crowd.

After ten minutes he saw a short man walking in the hallway of the hospital shaking the white stick in his hands; he went out from the building and turned his head around.

Akira touched the back of neck delicately.

“Hi.” Akira said

“Oh, hello! Sorry for the delay but I had a lot of things to do today. I'm so damn hungry”

they both smiled.

Takanori wasn't wearing any sunglasses and Akira had the chance to look into his eyes and lose himself inside of them.

“Do you like to...come to my place? I would like to introduce you to a special person. And we can order something take away if you like”

It sounded like a great idea and Takanori accepted in fact.

They walked for thirty minutes before reaching Akira's villa. They talked about their jobs, their colleagues, their aspirations, project and dreams. Takanori found out that Akira was really interested in music, especially rock and punk music, while Akira, instead, knew about Takanori's favorite books. Takanori told him he loved listening to audiobooks basically everyday. He listened to the most famous novels written by famous authors from the Victorian Era like Oscar Wilde, Jane Austen, Victor Hugo and he loved listening to classical music too.

They got to know each other better and that made Akira's heart warm.

When the pair reached the entrance of the giant house Takanori immediately felt like he was entering in a new dimension.

“A garden? A gate? Where are you living? In a castle maybe? That's crazy” he confessed closing the extensible stick and posing it in his bag.

“Well I'm rich and my mom wants me to live here because it's safer and I can protect myself better from paparazzi. In my house you will hear other people talking...they are the staff of the villa. I have a butler and a maid. Yes I know that's dumb stuff but my mom is very irritating and she doesn't want me to get rid of the staff in the house. Anyway I hope you will feel at home.”

The shorter man stayed in silence for a while.

“You are a mommy's boy then. You seem to do everything your mommy tells you to do. This is hilarious”

Akira laughed.

They entered in the house and Akira helped Takanori through the main entrance of the garden holding his left arm while walking.

Akira opened the main door and he kept Takanori close to his body. When they both came in Akira felt a little bit doubtful.

“So what? Aren't you going to show me your big ass house?” Takanori asked with a sweet voice.

“Eh? That's ok...I thought that, you know....maybe”

“You can describe everything to me!” Takanori replied started exploring the place.

Akira took Takanori's hand shyly and guided him in all the rooms. He tried describing every single object in the area: the big sofas, the huge LCD television, the white tables in the dining room, the kitchen and the beautiful paintings hanged on the walls. Then, they moved upstairs exploring slowly the other rooms. Akira “showed” Takanori the two bathrooms and the three other rooms: two bedrooms and a studio room.

“Wait wait. Tell me more about the paintings! Is there any painting in your own bedroom?” Takanori was really curious.

Akira spied the inside of his own room like he didn't even remember the objects in it.

“There's a painting. It's a naked woman painted with blue paint on a soft red background. The woman in the painting is showing her back and her face is posed on the ground. One hand is touching her chin while the other one is hiding near the ankle. The painting expresses melancholy and hope. It's a strange feeling, like the woman is waiting for something, but that something will never come”

Takanori listened paying attention. He was really captured by the words of the other man.

That moment reminded him of when he was younger and one day his brother took him to the modern art museum and he explained to him every single painting in the rooms for three hours straight. Takanori learned since the young age to appreciate things not only with his hands but also with his ears, listening to other people talking about them and capturing all the small emotions coming from their souls.

“This is...magic. Who is the artist? The person must be really brilliant”.

Akira stopped for a while. He looked at his feet.

How boring.

He never liked his feet but in that moment he paid too much attention.

He coughed then he took a deep breathe.

“My ex wife painted it”

Takanori turned his head into Akira's direction. His cheeks softly blushed. His eyes were traveling everywhere. It was obvious that he felt really confused and embarrassed.

“Ah”

“What?”

“I couldn't imagine you were engaged.” Takanori's voice spoke softly.

“It was some time ago. Now it belongs to the past”

Takanori didn't know what to say. He felt....guilty. Probably because Akira voice was so sad that you couldn't not hear it.

They remained in silence for a while until Akira broke the atmosphere.

“Ehy, there's something you need to see. It's the most beautiful thing in the house. I mean...not _see_ , but I want you to meet that thing” Akira's voice suddenly felt really excited.

Takanori laughed. “That's ok”

Akira took Takanori's arm with his hand and guided him through the hallway of the first floor. He opened a door and after two seconds or less a giant fluffy bear appeared behind the door barking.

“A DOG? DO YOU OWN A DOG AKIRA? HOLY SHIT” Takanori said surprisingly.

Sid started jumping happily greeting his owner and the new guest in the house. Sid was so happy to see Akira and Takanori that he almost fell on the floor six times before reaching Akira.

The big dog kissed Akira licking his cheeks and Akira laughed trying to push the guy inside the room. Takanori never stopped smiling, not even for a second.

“There there Sid, don't be crazy in front of new persons or you will embarrass me”

The dog barked.

“Anyway, Takanori...this is Sid, my cute dog. And...Sid, this is Takanori. Introduce yourself!”

Sid started running towards Takanori and stood up on his posterior paws touching Takanori's chest and licking his face. Sid was so big that it only took a little push to make both Takanori and himself falling on the floor. Takanori laughed caressing the head of the dog while Sid kept barking shaking his tail.

“Oh my god, Takanori are you ok? Sid is always so calm, I don't know what's happening to him today. I'm so sorry”

Akira helped Takanori standing up and took his hands in his own hands. They both blushed.

“I'm sorry...my dog seems a little bit crazy today”

Takanori laughed.

“I _love_ your dog!” the other man replied.

Sid bit the edge of Takanori's coat pushing him into his own 'toys area' with a cute expression on his face. The dog seemed to say 'Ehy human! Come see my toys!'

The dog couldn't know that the short black-haired man couldn't see his toys nor him or his owner. But Takanori seemed very happy to play with Sid.

Akira sat on the floor smiling watching his pup playing with that beautiful man.

Takanori kept caressing the hairy animal sweetly and playing with his paws. Sid was literally smiling for happiness.

Takanori turned his head around.

“I'm here Takanori” Akira replied to the silent question.

Takanori moved into the direction where he heard the voice coming. He sat on the floor next to Akira. Sid followed him calmly and lying down on the floor to get more cuddles.

Takanori couldn't take his hands off of the beautiful labrador.

“I think Sid really likes you. I've never seen him being so comfortable around people like he did today with you” Akira explained.

“Well...it means he is really fascinated by my presence here!” Takanori said with a fun expression on his face.

“...And he is not the only one to be fascinated by you in this room”

Akira spoke like the most natural thing in the universe.

Takanori coughed. His cheeks blushed but he tried to not look so nervous.

After some minutes of silence Sid basically fell asleep.

“Can I please touch your face, Takanori?”

The mainly voice broke the silent moment.

“My face?”

“Yes. I want to close my eyes and touch your face”

Takanori nodded.

Akira moved from his position to stand closer to the short man. He closed his eyes and touched delicately the blind man's face. Takanori was standing still, not even breathing.

Akira's hands were so big that they could cover Takanori's entire face with his palms. He touched delicately the forehead, the eyelids, the soft curved nose and the plumped lips. He brushed sweetly Takanori's jaw line drawing a shape of his visage.

The short man smiled.

“You are very beautiful Takanori. But nothing is compared to what my eyes can see” Akira said. Only a few centimeters were separating their mouths.

Takanori swallowed.

“I wish I could see you. You must be very handsome”

“I'm nothing special Takanori. I'm serious” Akira replied.

Takanori's hands reached Akira's body in a second. He touched his neck and his shoulders pushing delicately his finger tips on the skin covered by a thin fabric. The fingers caressed the arms, the forearms and Akira's hands.

Akira tried to stay silent but it was hard. Takanori's touch was delicate and intense at the same time.

“How can you say you are not special? You are made of marble. Like a statue” the black-haired man spoke honestly.

“My heart is made of marble too”

Akira immediately regretted saying too much in that situation.

Takanori felt his own heart skipping a beat. He tried looking away, at least metaphorically.

He felt a strange feeling like Akira let out a part of himself, something like an ice ball coming from his soul and that thing was now rolling on the floor and Takanori didn't know if he could take it in his hands. Akira was incredibly sad when he tried to talk about himself. Takanori felt out of place, like he entered in the wrong restaurant for an important appointment.

He didn't have any right to ask anything. So he remained silent.

The butler came to save them two knocking on the door.

“Mr Suzuki? The take away ordered is arrived!”

“Oh, thank you Kobayashi-san! We are coming in a minute”

Akira took Takanori's hand.

“Do you like chinese food? Because I ordered tons of it, I want to eat everything and watch a movie. How does it sound?”

“It sounds really great to me! Especially watching the television...you know. I love watching movies” Takanori smiled and thanked Akira for helping him standing up from the floor.

“Let's go then no I mean- oh my god I'm so sorry! I said another bullshit. I do really apologize. I'm a stupid moron” Akira spoke while they were going downstairs.

“It's ok, _mommy boy._ You are so funny when you realize you said the wrong thing” Takanori couldn't help himself but being sassy all the time. He loved teasing Akira this way.

“Don't call me like that!” Akira replied

 They both laughed.

"We can replace the movie with listening to some music. I have a lot of cds and you can choose!" Akira took Takanori's shoulders in a small hug. Takanori nodded.

"Great idea,  _mommy boy_ "

They laughed and Akira stared at the other man losing himself in his cloudy eyes. 

 


	10. Ten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (◔◡◔✿)

Ten.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Akira was waiting outside in the streets since hours.

He had a day off from work, shootings and stylists and decided to wake up early in the morning and took care of himself. He went jogging, took Sid out for a walk and had a long shower. He had breakfast and watched TV in the meanwhile.

He did every single action slowly, damn slowly. He wanted to stop time, to stretch it 'till it would stop for real, only for him. He did everything wasting every seconds, minutes and hours of his day. Why?

Because he was waiting for his afternoon date.

Akira didn't want afternoon to come.

He was probably too excited, too nervous, too anxious.

At 3 pm he decided he didn't have any power to stop time or to stop the world from spinning around the Sun so he just left home early and reached the meeting place two hours before the appointment.

He decided to enter in a book shop to kill time.

He walked through every bookcases and shelves spying some titles of some interesting books. He found an interesting book just by looking at the cover. It was a english novel titled _Lady Chatterley's Lover._ The plot talks about a married woman who falls in love with a man. They keep their forbidden love hidden until they decide to spend the rest of their life together, leaving their past life and other's people prejudices behind them.

The plot sounded so nice that Akira asked a sales assistant if there was the audiobook version of the novel. The sales assistant took Akira in specific place inside the shop where there were bookcases full of audiobooks and cds. The blonde man felt like he was entering in a different world; Takanori's world. There were literally any tipe of book recorded on a cd or dvd. There were classical victorian literature audiobooks, poetry audiobooks, japanese literature audiobooks and many others. Akira was literally impressed by what he was seeing. It's like there was a parallel world living at the same time of the world where Akira belonged. It's like Takanori was living in a different reality but doing the same thing as Akira. Just in a different way.

Like two stars shining in the universe in the same time, but light years away from each other.

Akira paid the audiobook and left the shop. He waited for the exact time to come and decided to smoke a cigarette. After five minutes he recognized someone walking the street shaking a white stick and wearing a pair of black sunglasses.

Akira went into Takanori's direction and took his body in his arms delicately.

Takanori froze for a second.

“It's me.”

Akira's voice was calm and sweet.

Takanori smiled shyly.

“Akira”

They stayed in silence for a long minute.

“You are very cute today” Akira broke the ice.

“Thank you, you too. Especially I love your sleepy face today”

Takanori laughed and Akira laughed louder.

“I have something for you” the blond model said taking something in his hand and posing it delicately in Takanori's ones.

“What is it?”

“It's an audiobook. It's an english novel titled _Lady Chatterley's Lover._ I liked the plot so I decided to buy it for you”

Takanori smiled.

“It's....beautiful Akira. But you didn't have to-”

Akira posed a finger on Takanori's mouth.

“Shh, I just wanted to give you a gift and that's it. Also the story is pretty cool; it's about a secret hidden love story. I like that shit”

Takanori smiled again. He then spoke with a deep mainly voice. “I didn't think you were such a romantic _mommy-boy_ ”

“Shut the fuck up Takanori or I will steal your white stick!”

“Don't you dare....mommy-boy!”

Takanori pushed Akira but he obviously failed.

Akira took gently Takanori's arm in his hand and guided him through the way of the pavement. The couple entered in a cafeteria and ordered brownies and hot tea. The weather outside was very cold and a hot beverage was the best thing.

They sat in a small table in the angle of the room. The place wasn't much crowded and they could talk whispering instead of shouting their voices. Takanori looked doubtful and thoughtful.

Akira took some seconds of silence to admire the man in front of him.

Takanori's eyes spinned around him like a child eternally surprised by the world around him. His facial features were chubby and cute, properly like a baby. He didn't look 35 at all. Akira was deeply captured by his gestures: elegant and ethereal.

“I have the strange feeling that you are looking at me!” the shorter man exclaimed.

“Uhm nah. Just chilling in front of a cute boy drinking tea”

The blind man smiled.

They stayed in silence for a while. Then Takanori broke it.

“So...tell me more about your childhood Akira! i’m so curious about that!”

Takanori’s voice was deep and relaxing.

“My childhood? Mh i don’t think I have something interesting to say. I grew up with a single mom because my father left when I was 3 and my sister was 7. My mom was the best mom I could ever ask for. She’s always been very caring and cozy and she never left me or my sister with the feeling of missing something. She bought us all the toys we wanted, she bakes us all the cakes we loved and she used to pick us up every day to school. Probably she did it because she felt guilty for what happened with her husband. Mom and that...man, didn’t really get along after her second pregnancy. When I was still a baby boy my father just left and he probably rebuild his life again, with another woman. He probably had children. Me and Azumi never heard of him after his leaving. He just left us. Like we weren’t even born. He surely deleted us from his memories. Thank god I can’t remember his face...it would have been more painful. But my mother...well she suffered a lot for this. And since she didn’t want to see her children suffering because they didn’t have a father, she gave us everything.”

Takanori’s was paying much attention and Akira could tell it from the moving of his eyes. His pupils were moving slowly like he was trying catching Akira’s words with his look.

“How did it come to you to become a model?” the shorter man questioned.

“Well...I started modeling when I was sixteen-seventeen years old. I’ve been a very sporty boy during my adolescence and, during a football match where I was playing, one man in the audience noticed me and suggested a nice job to my mom. She accepted the offer and I was ok with it too. So I started modeling for fun basically….I used to pose for some photographs during weekends or when I was off from school. After my high school graduation I wasn’t very convinced about a fashion model career and then I started attending university, studying engineering. I was keeping my model career as a hobby though. After a while I started getting so many job offers that I couldn’t really refuse. Especially because they offered me so much money and I needed money at that time; I wanted to help my mother to give her a happy life now that I was able to afford it. So I left university and I became a full time model. And then here I am.”

Takanori stayed quiet. He took a sip of the hot tea.

Akira bit his lips.

He felt like he wasn’t even speaking. Talking with Takanori came so naturally that sometimes he felt like he was dreaming or probably he was just hallucinating and talking to himself.

It was very comfortably talking with a person that gives you such a natural feeling.

“Your life must be really intriguing, you have everything.”

Every single time Takanori spoke, Akira felt like someone was punching his stomach.

“Not really. I never had a father. I don’t have a wife anymore. This is not _everything_.”

Takanori winced.

“I like the bakery here. The brownies are delicious.” the short black-haired man said changing subject. “Also I like the teas. I like this place.”

“I hope you will read, I mean, listen to, the audiobook I bought you. I’m sure you will appreciate in the same way you appreciate this brownie!”

They laughed and kept talking about books, novels, movies and music. Takanori was way more acculturated than Akira. He knew basically everything from every subject: science, politics, history, art, poetry. He left Akira speechless more than once.

Was that because Akira never met a blind person before? Probably he grew up with the wrong stereotypes and the wrong ideas. He was glad someone came in his life to change them.

When Takanori finished his cup of tea he took his extensible white sticks ready to stand up.

“Mh Akira, I think I have to go home. I’m tired.”

“T-That’s ok...I can keep you company during your way home”.

Akira stood up surprisingly. He reached the cash desk and paid for him and the shorter boy.

Takanori was waiting for him outside the cafeteria.

It was slowly starting snowing. Some random snowflakes was posing on the ground. It was an ethereal atmosphere.

Akira came out and reached Takanori.

“Let’s go” the model asserted.

“Ehm no...it’s better If I go alone.” Takanori seemed irritated and tired.

“Eh? Why? I don’t want you to go home alone! I come with you”

Takanori started shaking his white stick and walked away from Akira.

Akira run after him. “Ehy!”

Takanori paused and took a deep breathe. When he breathed out, a small icy cloud left his mouth.

“Listen to me Akira. It’s better for both of us to never see each other again.”

The short man spoke so softly and naturally that for a second it sounded like a joke.

Akira swallowed “What? Are you kidding? W-why?”

Akira felt like he was missing something. Like that feeling when you wake up in the morning and you are late for work because the alarm didn’t ring.

“Because it’s better for you...and especially for me.”

Takanori was talking while walking helping his balance with the stick. He was going very fast that Akira had to breathe harder to hold his footsteps.

“What? What are you even talking about?” the blonde model touched the other’s man shoulder and tried to turn his body around.

“Don’t act like you don’t notice, like you _don’t see_!”

Silence.

“I’m blind, I’m a disabled person. And you? You are one of the richest and most handsome man in Japan. You have and you had everything...That everything that I never had the chance to see and will never have. How can two different worlds encounter?”

Akira tried to scanning Takanori’s gaze but he found only two grey flowers looking straightly into his own soul. He felt lost.

“Are you crazy? What are you even saying? This is so stupid!” The blonde man was irritated, frustrated and disappointed.

“It’s not stupid, just true. I’m a realist. Look at me and then look at you. I’m not a part of your life and I will never be. Neither you will be part of mine. This shit is senseless. You should stop dating a disabled.”

Akira posed his both hands on Takanori’s shoulders and strongly shook his petite body feeling his heartbeat speeding up and his blood pumping in his veins.

“Can you hear all the bullshits you are saying right now? Because I’ve never heard such a stupid argument in my life. This is so stupid that I can’t believe it’s you saying these bullshits.”

Akira didn’t even blink. He was shouting.

“Don’t touch me”

Takanori’s voice was cold but trembling. He was afraid or maybe just vulnerable.

Akira felt the other man’s presence slowly fading away from his life like sand caressing your fingers. He already lost two important persons in his life, his father when he abandoned his family and his ex wife. Now he was losing Takanori too.

Life couldn’t be so cruel, not anymore.

Akira sweetly posed his hands on Takanori’s cheeks softly caressing his pale skin. He leaned forward just in the right space to whisper on Takanori’s lips.

The snowflakes started falling more and more. The landscape was just white. Pure, clean. The small street where the two man were arguing was empty. No one could see them.

“Now listen to me Takanori. I DON’T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU ARE BLIND.” 

The taller boy screamed, then took a deep breathe. “I like you. I liked you since the first day I saw you in the Starbucks cafeteria. I liked you even more when you talked to me and when I found out that you were blind. I like your world. I wanna be a part of it. I don’t care if I am a model and I’m handsome...beauty doesn’t matter at all. I really like you and I don’t want to lose you for some stupid ass shitty causes. Your blindness is not a problem, nor will never be”

Long minutes passed before they both started breathing again.

Takanori had a confused expression on his face. He seemed even more scared than before.

“You will get tired of me sooner or later. You have everything: money, power, beauty. How could someone like you find interest in someone like me? I can’t even see you. How will you introduce me to your mother? “Hi mom this is my blind boyfriend”? This is so wrong! You are too famous to spend time with a person like me!!”

Akira’s hands pushed into Takanori’s skin. The fingers pressed delicately and strongly at the same time. Akira looked into Takanori’s empty eyes.

“Matsumoto Takanori...what didn’t you understand of my sentence “I like you”? I just like you a lot. Is it something wrong? I don’t think so. Are you maybe heterosexual? Fine for me, that would be a decent excuse to stop dating me. But please, do me a favor and stop saying bullshits again. Nothing is wrong. You are not wrong. Probably you are the only right thing that ever happened in my life in the last period. I don’t care If I have everything, if I’m rich or famous. I don’t want everything, I want you.”

Akira never felt so comfortable in his whole life. For the first time he decided to take control of this situation alone. There wasn’t his mother ready to protect him, not even his manager or Kai. He was alone and strong. He felt like he just needed to be loyal to himself and to the other man too.

Is it so wrong to feel something? Then it’s ok. Akira never felt right in his entire life.

He tried to contain himself. He noticed his fingers were pressing on Takanori’s jaw.

Takanori quietly melted into a shy smile. Then he laughed noisily.

Akira looked at him surprised. “So what? Don’t tell me you are heterosexual!”

Takanori laughed even more touching Akira’s chest.

The snow already covered the entire pavement and the dumpsters too.

The shorter’s man hands caressed Akira’s neck delicately.

“I think I’m more homosexual than your homosexual ass, mommy-boy!” Takanori slapped Akira’s face. “Maybe we can...I mean-”

“Can I kiss you?” the blonde model asked in a second.

Takanori grabbed the strips of Akira’s coat and pulled him closer.

Akira’s lips met for the first time Takanori’s ones. It felt like a deja vù or maybe a dream. Or maybe an illusion. Akira closed his eyes isolating himself from the world. He felt like he was entering in Takanori’s world, where everything is dark but interesting.

The shorter man tried reaching Akira’s nape and the model helped him pulling his petite body closer. Takanori’s breathe smelled like mint. It was addicting, like his voice and his presence.

Their lips danced like two butterflies: shyly but flowing into one another.

The snow started covering the two men’s heads and their clothes too.

Akira never felt so happy.


	11. Eleven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ehyyy I just came back from hell to post a new chapter. I hope you missed me and my story the same way I did ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Eleven.

  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Being a model is probably one of the hardest job on earth. It’s not at the same level like other jobs: bricklayers, cashiers, dishwashers or dustmen. In fact being model is physically stressing. It gives you the chance to meet the most famous personas in the world, it gives you money, it allows you to live an opulence life filled with money, fame and beauty. But the psychological effects are devastating. Being model breaks your mind and soul and the more you go on and more your life gets complicated. It’s like having a knife shoved in your chest and the more you try to get rid of it the more the knife sinks in.

Akira’s job is like a knife: it’s something fascinating, but in the end very dangerous. It can be a dangerous weapon and the saddest part is that the only person you going to hurt in the end it’s you.

Akira knew that too well.

But today during the shooting session he felt a little bit more relaxed. He didn’t even feel his daily tiredness nor he felt like he wanted to go home. Was it all that easy? Probably yes.

Probably feeling his own heart beating for another person was slowly changing the way Akira acted towards the world. Probably Takanori was actually changing his life for the best.

Akira wasn’t even paying too much attention to his colleagues. He was just thanking himself like thousands times for not allowing Takanori to run away from his life.

It’s been only four days but Akira couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss him and Takanori shared in the cold night of Ginza.

Only when one of the designer shouted “Stop!” Akira realized he was still on set filming a small campaign.

“Suzuki? Are you with us? We are telling you to change the pose since thirty minutes and you are not even listening! Are you ok? Do you want a little break?” One of the designer seemed a little bit too much pissed off by the situation.

“No thanks, I’m fine. Just tired” Akira smiled.

The shoot last longer that expected.

When Akira sat a foot in the changing room he tried to look as concentrated as possibile. But someone already noticed his mood.

“Ehy ehy ehy. Don’t ya think you’re gonna get away in silence. You need to tell me everything.”

Yuu’s voice interrupted the atmosphere.

“What?” asked Akira with a surprised voice.

“What’s her name? Or maybe... _his_ name” Yuu got closer to Akira so no one could hear them talking.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Your face Akira. I’ve never seen you smiling in….moths? Maybe years. Your eyes are smiling,  your body is smiling, your ears are smiling. _You_ are smiling. That could be for only one reason. You are in love, aren’t you?”

Akira at first thought about faking everything but then he decided to choose the easiest way.

“Yes I’m smiling. I can’t say that I’m happy but I can tell you that there’s someone in my life that makes me smile. I couldn’t imagine you could notice all of that”

Yuu laughed.

“Are you serious? Even the walls noticed you are smiling! It cannot be unseen! Anyway….I’m so happy for you Akira. I really do mean that. I’m happy for you and for your mood. I’ve never seen you like this since a long time. I don’t want to sound too serious but that person probably put a spell on you or something similar”

Akira sighed deeply and looked away.

He didn’t want to speak much, but he couldn’t contain himself neither. He tried to not say too much, but he didn’t want to feel cryptic.

“Well, you’re right Yuu! That person is really magic. He _sees_ things that no one else can see. Probably that’s why my heart started beating again. I didn’t believe in soulmates and similar shit before meeting him”

“Oh! So...is it a boy? How old is he?” Yuu seem to be very excited but he was risking that someone of the crew could hear them.

“Yeah, it’s a man. A beautiful man. But I stop here. I will talk to you in another place and when things will be official” Akira shyly smiled.

Yuu smiled back and made a sign with his hand making Akira understand that he didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable.

The duo decided to go back at work, but before that, Yuu took his brushes and retouched Akira’s flawless face.

  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

It was late afternoon. It was so damn cold outside.

Akira left the building where he was shooting and went straight to the hospital where Takanori worked.

It was so cold that the snow couldn’t fall properly and started icing making the air glittering in the darki-ish panorama of Ginza. Akira smiled looking at the people walking around the streets holding bags and food in their hands. Winter is such a strange season, isn’t it? It’s cold, dark but it feels like the warmest place to be.

Akira entered the building and went to the info desk of the hospital where a young girl was waiting behind the desk.

“Hello! I’m looking for Mr Matsumoto office! Can you please tell me where is?” Akira spoke nervously.

The young girl seemed to have recognized the blonde model. She replied with a surprised voice, trembling. “It’s on the third floor. When you arrive there, it’s the first office on the right. Anyway...the doctor Matsumoto is closing, maybe he is already gone!”

Akira tried not to smile.

“No problem. I don’t think he is running away. I have an _appointment_ with him”

The girl reacted in the most funny but scared way looking at the blonde man like he just said that pigs can fly in the sky.

The model blinked to the young girl and went to reach for the elevator. Since it was taking too much time he decided to go upstair using the stairs.

When Akira reached the 3rd floor he met by accident with some nurses walking around the hallway.

Akira tried to look more natural and casual than ever.

He reached Takanori’s office. He knocked waiting for an answer.

Takanori’s deep strong voice replied immediately.

“I’m closed! The appointments for today are over!”

Akira opened the door anyway.

“Even our _appointment_?” a question broke the air.

“Akira!”

Takanori run into him not even using his white sticks.

Akira wrapped his arms around his small body. They kissed shyly posing their mouths on the other’s delicately.

“I thought about you all day at work” Akira whispered.

Takanori blushed but reacted with a small slap on the model’s chest.

“Shut up Akira! I’m still at work and I can’t speak with anybody since I’m closing the office.”

“Can you at least kiss me?”

Takanori smiled and kissed Akira passionately. After the kiss Akira stared into Takanori’s blurry eyes.

Those eyes killed him every time. They looked like two dark pearls reflecting the lights around them.

“Are you alive?” Takanori asked.

“More or less. I have an angel in front of me...maybe that’s a sign”

Takanori smiled making a mop, then walking around the room to change his clothes. It was the first time that Akira could see Takanori in his physiotherapist uniform and he was very cute. The top of the uniform was indeed too big for Takanori’s body and same went for his trousers. He looked like a child wearing his father’s clothes.

Takanori changed his clothes revealing a white t shirt and black skinny jeans under his physiotherapist-outfit. He wore a giant grey sweater and put a scarf around his neck.

Akira felt a little bit stupid for not helping him; however he seemed very alert with things and furnitures around him. He knew exactly where the chair was, where the table was and where he put his clothes, bags and personal belongings. He moved like a small ballerina in his own world.

Akira couldn’t take his eyes off of him.

After some minutes Takanori was ready and Akira felt embarrassed for not choosing what to do for the date.

“Maybe it’s better if you go out first. I don’t want people to talk”

Akira felt offended for a second, then he thought rationally.

It would be very offensive towards Takanori showing that he is dating a famous model and making him stay in his office. It’s not professionally correct. And Akira would respect Takanori at all costs.

Then, Akira left he hallway, walked through the stairs and reached the ground floor. He took time to thank the young girl at the info point and then he dissolved behind the main entrance.

After ten minutes or so, Takanori appeared behind the corner.

They just stayed in silence and smiled.

Takanori took Akira’s hands and the model guided him through a small abandoned alley. They didn’t even waste a second and their mouths immediately met for the third time.

Takanori couldn’t stop kissing Akira like he was his only source of oxygen in the world.

“I missed you so much today” the short man confessed.

Akira rubbed his thumbs on Takanori’s soft cheeks. He tried searching for something in Takanori’s eyes but it was so difficult. At some point those eyes seemed to know everything about the world, the universe and the planets. At some point, instead, those eyes looked empty or just veiled like they were sleeping since a long time.

The two irises were moving fastly like they were searching for something desperately.

Akira kissed Takanori’s nose. “I think I like you more than I thought. You are the only thing that makes me truly happy. Thank your for that”

Takanori’s eyes kept moving without a purpose staring into the void or probably watching everything that common human beings don’t.

“I didn’t do anything but If it really is like that, I’m glad I’m in your life. I still can’t believe you were so unhappy before we met”

Akira took both the black haired man’s hands and left two small kisses.

“Shall we eat something for dinner? I’m so damn hungry”

  
  


The restaurant was quiet and relaxing. It was a fancy and rich restaurant that Akira knew way to well thanks to the many dinners he had together with Yutaka or his manager. It was a famous sashimi restaurant in Tokyo that most of people couldn’t afford. The menu was so expensive that it only takes one or two servings to spend more than 40000 yen, the food on the list was very sophisticated and delicious and most product were very rare to find like the tuna belly or delicious unaghi and sea urchin.

Akira liked that place because only rich people used to come and he felt comfortable around people who didn’t pay him much attention. He wanted to stay in a small place with the person that mattered the most.

Takanori wasn’t so uncomfortable like Akira thought. He couldn’t appreciate the beautiful design of the tables and chairs or the walls decorations but he surely felt good. There was a slow moody music in the background and everyone seemed to speak with a low volume. Takanori smiled.

“Is this a sort of rich ass bitchy restaurant for famous rich capitalist assholes?” he asked bitterly.

“Right” Akira laughed.

They sat on a medium table in a corner of the room. Akira posed his own hand on Takanori’s one and didn’t leave that position not only for one second.

They ordered sashimi and miso soups and two glasses of white wine.

When the plates arrived Takanori couldn’t contain himself from starting eating salmon and tuna from the dish. He seemed very hungry.

“I’m so sorry Akira but this salmon is too good! Do really rich people eat this delicious shit?”

Akira couldn’t stop laughing and watching that small man eating like a giant bear.

“Yes this restaurant is one o my favorites! The food is delicious and the fish is so fine. Rich people are lucky in a sense”

“I don’t understand when you say that being a model isn’t worthy. You literally have everything. Not only power and beauty and money. But also...delicious food?!”

Takanori took the small cup of miso soup and drank from it.

Akira never left Takanori’s hands not even when he started eating.

He took the small tiny fingers in his large hands and handled them like they were two small diamonds; Akira kissed Takanori’s fingers passionately.

“It’s nothing compared to you Takanori. I’m serious.”

The man with black hair stopped eating and blushed violently.

“I would like to tell you my story...because I trust you” Akira couldn’t keep it anymore.

Takanori posed his chopsticks and caressed Akira’s large hands.

He looked so sweet with his eyes trembling and not focusing on something.

“As I told you some weeks ago...I had a wife. She was the love of my life. We were very close and we got along so well. That’s why we decided to get married. We wanted a family, probably children. We planned to go living in Los Angeles and making our children learning both English and Japanese language so they could grow up experiencing two different cultures. We were in love of course and we weren’t jealous of our job. She is a model and sometimes an actress. She acted in some American tv series and some Japanese fashion spots. She is gorgeous, that’s why all the designer fell in love with her. But the media, the press, the audience….they ruined everything. They wanted to ruined our relationship and they succeeded. People only want to see other people unhappy and in pain. The paparazzi never left us alone, not even in our own house. They kept following my ex wife everywhere and they wrote bad things about our relationships taking things out of the context and creating new scandals and gossip for the hungry people to eat. I was tired, we were both tired.

My wife, however, was too sensitive for this fashion world. She suffered in the past from anorexia and when the paparazzi and the media ruined our careers she fell into a depressive hole. She was depressed and started suffering from bipolar disorder. I tried helping her in all the way a person can be helped. I even thought about quitting my career to have a private modest life and moving to another country. It wasn’t enough. Her mother stood in out relationships and she ruined our love story too. She did what a mother can do. She wanted to protect her daughter and in fact she took her away from me. I wasn’t able to contact her or text her. Her mother put Taeko in a crystal ball and left her alone with no contact with the outside.

She has been depressed for years and when she started getting well she wanted a divorce. What could I do? I loved her and I wanted her to be happy, even If that meant living my life without her. We divorced and that’s pretty much my sad story. That’s why my life isn’t worthy. Being a model can bring you money and fame but all of this can’t buy happiness.”

Akira finished the sentence taking a sip of wine.

Takanori swallowed.

They stood in silence for a while.

Akira kept eating slowly the raw fish.

Takanori’s eyes seemed nervous and afraid. He couldn’t see things around him but he looked like he was sensing everything in the room: every single emotion, every single word.

“I am...sorry”

Just three single words left Takanori’s mouth.

His eyes were glittering in front of the lights of the candles posed on the table. They slowly got wet and he tried not to cry.

Akira caressed Takanori’s hands softly.

“Hey..” the model whispered.

Takanori posed his blind gaze on something before speaking again.

“I’m so sorry to hear your story. I couldn’t imagine that. I have to be honest...the first time I met you, I didn’t like you at all. I thought you were mean and rich and when I was very young I used to hate people like you” the short man stopped and drank the rest of the wine from the chalice.

“When I was a teenager, and then when I became a young adult, I didn’t really accept my blindness. I was angry towards the world, towards Mother Nature for what happened to me because it wasn’t my fault and especially because I couldn’t do anything to it. There’s no cure for blindness and I wasn’t ok with it. So I used to think that rich people and famous people were truly assholes, especially those sad singers who keep singing about their lost lovers. They don’t even know how lucky they are, having the chance to see the world, to see the colors, the flowers and the sea. I had this idea in mind that only people like me could experience pain, no one else could. But then I grew up and I’m a mature man now, I don’t think those things anymore. However I must be brutally honest with you Akira...I hated you the first time I talked to you. You only talked about your aesthetic, about your job and that made me think of you as a very mean and shallow person. Obviously I was wrong and I couldn’t imagine you’ve been in such a terrible pain. I’m so sorry for what happened to you, you didn’t deserve it. You are such a nice person and...you are changing my life”

When Takanori finished his sentence, Akira thought for a moment that he was dreaming. Not only Takanori’s voice was warm and pleasing; it was the most beautiful sound he ever heard. His face while talking looked more chubby and childish and that made him look more innocent and honest. Akira felt his heart beating fast for a moment.

That man, that small blind man, just opened his mind and heart to him and he did so naturally that Akira thought in that exact moment that all his life must has been a lie. Akira was learning to be more natural, like the short man.

“I’m glad you say so. You know...you are the most important thing in my life, I’m very grateful that I can be something positive”

Takanori laughed and reached for Akira’s face touching his nose amusingly.

The duo kept eating their dinner talking about their personal lives and slowly reaching for the other person’s hand on the table. Their bodies were looking for each other and they kept doing all the time during the permanence in the restaurant.

Akira learned that Takanori lived alone and his brother only helped him occasionally during the week. He learnd how to cook by himself and how to have a shower. He knew exactly where every object was in his house and every forniture had its own purpose. The blonde model was very fascinating by the other’s life. It could be a very intersting way of life where everything had its own place in the world and every object had its own scope. Akira felt a huge need to be part of that schematic accurate definite world. His whole life had been a mess; probably Takanori was the only thing that could have a special careful place.

The model coughed interrupting the other speaking.

“Can I ask you something Takanori Matsumoto?”

“Yes, Akira Suzuki”

The blonde guy posed in silence then he swallowed.

“Do you want to be my boyfriend? I mean...officially”

Takanori gifted the other with a big smile. He was so happy that even his dead eyes were screaming.

“Obviously yes!”

They both laughed.

Takanori’s face was so beautiful to the soft light of the room. He looked so cute and sexy at the same time. His small hands were playing with the fabric of the napkin.

“Ehy! Mister Suzuki don’t ya think that since you’re my boyfriend you can come for free to my office at the hospital?! You will pay twice at least!”

The funny atmosphere created a peaceful aurea around them.

“I don’t want to have you as my physiotherapist! I would prefer a very cute girl” the model replied smirking.

Takanori kicked both Akira’s legs in a second under the table. The strong hit made the glasses falling on the surface. The blonde man obviosuly laughed but it didn’t happen the same to the waiters who looked at them with mad eyes.

Probably that was the last time they could set foot in this restaurant, but Akira couldn’t care less.


	12. Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I apologize because I'm so late but I had very busy time at uni TT enjoy this chapter please~

  
  
Twelve. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Playing with Sid was surely the best part of the day. Akira  _ loved  _  spending time with his cute big dog. He decided that when he will be older he would have stopped being a model and just went for a full time hobby: playing with dogs at the park, taking care of dogs and just loving dogs in general. Akira realized how important a dog was in his messy stupid life. If someone told him years ago that a dog could had saved his life he wouldn’t believed them, but it happened.

And it happened something more. 

A person saved Akira’s soul, and this time everything occured casually. 

He couldn’t do anything but smile when he thought about him. 

He wondered for a moment what Takanori was doing. 

Sid barked, distracting him.

“Do you wanna go out cutie?” Akira asked, caressing his hairy fluffy friend. 

The big dog barked again.

Akira took his personal belongings, phone, cigarettes and keys and left the house with his best friend. The butler greeted Akira on his way out while he was cutting the plants in the garden.

The blonde man smiled to the older man and closed the main entrance gate. 

Sid was so impatient that he started running in the streets and Akira had to walk faster to reach him in time. 

The neighborhood was crowded for a winter Sunday morning. For the hastiness, Akira forgot his white mask to wear when he decided to walk around the park surrounded by normal people. That day every person was recognizing him. He didn’t mind the staring people were giving to him making him feel a little bit uncomfortable. He smiled nicely but tried hiding his face as much as possible. 

When the pair reached the park, Akira’s phone ringed.

“Hello?”

“ _ Hello? Darling? How y’ doing?” _

A well-known voice made Akira’s smiling.

“Mom! I’m ok! I’m walking Sid in the park...it’s sunny and I love staying outside today”

His mother seemed to stay in a noisy place, he couldn’t hear all the words she was speaking.

“ _ I’m glad you are ok baby, I hope you are doing good and making improvements _ ”

“What do you mean?”

“ _ You know what I mean Aki, _ ” a high noise interrupted the sentence “ _ -talking about your private life and- _ ” another noise interrupted Akira’s mother voice. “ _ just worried about you and what you’ll do in the future. I hope you will find someone again and- _ ”

Akira couldn’t hear his mother’s voice very well at all. 

“Mom I don’t want to talk about it here. The connection is not even working and you seem to be very busy at the moment. Better if I call you later…”

“ _ I love you Aki, see you _ ”

The blonde man hung up the phone trying to look less nervous than he was.

Why was his mother like this? She loved both him and his sister, obviously, but she seemed to be obsessed over her children’s private life. Akira started feeling discomfort talking with her mom about his love stories and his future dreams. It was like his mother wanted to underline that he was alone, every single time. This was humiliating. 

But Akira wasn’t alone, not anymore. There was an angel in his life right now. 

He smiled thinking about him.

But how was he supposed to tell his mother?

Akira’s mother probably expected something completely different….probably she imagined his son together with a rich person coming from the v.i.p. industry. 

Was his mother able to understand that love is  _ blind _ ?

In that moment the phone rang and Akira answered not checking the name or the number.

“Hello? Mom please...I don’t have the energy right now, can you call me later?”

“... _ Akira _ ?!  _ It’s me. _ ”

That voice.

Akira smirked.

  
  


 

 

 

 

 

3 hours later.

  
  
  


 

 

 

Akira was standing in front of Takanori’s house. He was living in a small semi-detached house next to a group of cottages. The house was nice from the outside.

He pressed the door bell waiting for Takanori to open the door. 

A small ‘click’ announced that Akira could push the big wood rectangular piece and coming inside.

It was almost 8 pm and it was already dark outside. It was dark inside too. 

Akira turned around searching for a switch.

He pressed the button but he realized there was no lamp in the entrance. 

How stupid, a blind person doesn’t need a light.

The only source of light was the moon light entering from the windows. The rooms had so many windows. 

A small figure appeared backlight.

“Akira!”

The small boy ran into the other’s arms.

Akira hugged Takanori tightly, like he wanted to recover from all those hours they spent apart. Takanori was smiling from happiness, Akira couldn’t help but laughing too. 

They kissed softly whispering to the other how much they missed the other person’s presence. 

Akira looked into Takanori’s empty eyes; they seemed to shine of their own light under the moon light.

“Welcome to my house Akira!”

The blonde model picked Takanori up kissing his cheeks. 

“Your house is as cute as you! I like it!”

“I’m so sorry but I have no light except for the living room where my brother insisted in putting a lamp because once he tried walking in my house in the darkness and he hit every single forniture!” Takanori laughed so much that Akira felt it in his soul.  

The model kept the small body in his arms holding Takanori like a bride.

“Do you want something to drink? Hot tea?”

Takanori asked caressing the blonde’s face.

“No thank you. I am no hungry.”

“Can you at least put me down?” The petite man asked sarcastically. 

Akira laughed then posed the other on the ground. 

They stayed closed to each other smelling their skins. 

Takanori posed his head on Akira’s chest. They remained in silence for a while. 

“I can feel your heartbeat”

Takanori ‘s voice was low and deep. It reminded Akira of a fire: something warm and hypnotic. The small body made a strange noise interrupting the atmosphere.

“My stomach is angry...I mean: hungry!”

Akira chuckled.

“Can I cook for you something?”

Takanori didn’t reply but posed his hands on Akira’s face caressing his nose. He was wearing a large sweater and a pair of sporty pants. He looked extremely cute and domestic.

“Can I eat you instead?”

“I won’t complain to be honest” Akira couldn’t help but smirking. 

Their lips met again slowly fading in a long kiss. Akira’s hands reached for Takanori’s skin under the fabric of the sweater touching the soft creamy chest. Akira noticed in that moment how tiny Takanori was. He could feel Takanori’s bones under his palms and with his both hands he could wrap his whole small waist. The short boy almost fainted at Akira’s touch; he receded from the kiss with a nervous face. His eyes were empty, as usual. 

Akira wished he could see something inside of that gaze but, alas, it was impossibile...like a book written in a mysterious language. Akira felt for a moment like he couldn’t read Takanori’s soul. 

He felt lonely.

“Are you ok?” the model asked,

“I am...just a little bit afraid. You know...I have never…”

Takanori stayed silent for a while. 

Akira waited patiently. He didnt even spill a word nor a whisper. He just took Takanori’s face in his hands caressing his cheeks.

“I had a sort of boyfriend years ago but...you know, since I’m a disabled person, I’ve never trusted anyone enough to have sex with them.”

He spoke in such a low voice, like he felt ashamed of his own words.

“Shhh, it’s ok Taka. I understand, perfectly. We can try when you feel ready”

The blonde man smiled but he knew Takanori couldn’t see it. 

He felt alone and useless again. 

His hands kept touching Takanori’s jaw and cheeks caressing his face shape delicately. 

“I think I am ready with you, Akira”

The short man reached for the other’s lips kissing them passionately. 

Akira didn’t say a word. 

Takanori took the other’s hand silently.

“Come with me”

The noises coming from the streets outside seemed to be disappeared in a black hole. Everything was silent, like the universe. The only sound it could be heard, it was the sound of the breathes wearing heavily. 

They stopped talking when Akira realized he was in Takanori’s bedroom. There was a small light who lighted up the whole room showing a matrimonial bed, a large wardrobe and a very huge shelf full of audiobooks and music cds. 

Akira switched off the light and the whole room was suddendly in the darkness. The windows were fully closed because of the cold weather outside. 

“Akira why did you-”

“I don’t want no lights. I want the darkness. I don’t need to see anything right now. I want to see what you see. I want to be part of your world, remember?”

Takanori smiled and Akira noticed it thanks to a small dim light. 

The shorter started undressing his partner. His small hands were fighting against Akira’s clothes but he succeded after some seconds. Akira’s shirt, jumper and jeans were fully splayed on the floor near the door. 

Takanori’s hands immediately went to the other’s body but Akira stopped him. 

He started unclothing the small boy delicately. Their breathes got heavier and heavier. 

While Akira was uncovering the small body, he wanted to admire every single small part of it, but he controlled himself. There were so many other ways to look at a person: smelling, hearing, touching and...tasting. 

The sight was unecessary. 

When Takanori was naked, Akira just hugged his body, holding it tightly close to his chest. It was warm and he felt like he was about to fall asleep. He never felt so relaxed in his whole life. 

Takanori kissed his neck leaving small smacks on the skin with his humid lips. 

The blonde model caressed the other’s back and smelled every inch of Takanori’s hair and skin. His smell was so addicting that for a moment he thought about how he could have lived all this time without that person. Probably his whole goal in life was to find Takanori. 

And here he was. 

In each other’s arms.

"Do you feel comfortable? Am I doing something wrong?" the blond boy was now very nervous.

"It's ok. I love you"

They kissed again.

"If you do not want, just stop me"

"It's ok, for real! I'm nervous but I like it, please Akira..." 

That low deep voice reassured Akira's mind. He was afraid he could hurt his boyfriend and ruining everything. But Takanori was moaning louder trying comforting all his insecurities. 

Akira pushed delicately Takanori on the bed. It was so dark that it was almost impossible to recognize anything in the room. The taller man positioned on top of the other slowly caressing his face with his thumbs. 

Takanori winced.

Akira loved Takanori’s whispers near his ears. He felt like he was on drugs. 

The short man touched his back with his small hands.

_ It’s a strange sensation -  _ Akira thought. Being touched like that. 

Takanori’s touch was different from all the other people. He wasn’t caressing Akira’s skin, it felt like Takanori was touching his inner body: his bones and muscles. He knew exactly where to touch every single inch of Akira’s skin. Like an artist working with marble. 

“God Akira, your body is perfect. You are a roman statue.”

“No. I’m  _ your _ roman statue”

They both giggled making their bodies touching intimately. 

Akira couldn’t stare at Takanori but that night he saw him with all remain senses. They touched, heard, tasted and smelled their love.

It felt like rose petals.

It sounded like a slow melody.

It tasted like vanilla.

It smelled like mint and tobacco. 

They crossed their fingers.

The whole city was sleeping, in that bedroom two hearts were beating fast.

Akira didn't feel alone anymore.


	13. Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, here go with the new chapter. Hope you enjoy \o/

Thirteen.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

Akira woke up some seconds before the alarms went on. He switched off his Iphone and decided to go back to sleep. He turned his body on the right and he saw Takanori sleeping peacefully next to him. He was softly snoring making cute mops with his face. 

Akira couldn’t help but smile. He remained seconds, then minutes then probably hours staring at Takanori sleeping. It was magical.

Thinking about the night that just passed made his heart warm and heavy. He was finally happy and sometimes he couldn’t even believe it. He couldn’t believe that it was Takanori who made him smile that much.

How could someone imagine a situation like that? A person falling in love with a completely different one. This was unreal.

Akira didn’t care at all about that. He never cared about age, sex or ethnicity when it came about love. Neither this time he could care less about the fact that Takanori was blind.

He was afraid however. Not for himself. But for Takanori. 

He wanted to tell his mother, sister and colleagues about his relationship but at the same Akira wanted to protect and respect his boyfriend, trying to not exposing him too much. 

How could he tell his mother all of this?

It was difficult, but not impossible.

“Aki?”

A mainly deep voice aroused him from his thoughts. 

“Takanori”

The black haired man opened his eyes revealing his light brown irises. 

“When did you wake up?” he asked.

“Probably one hour ago. Maybe two. I stayed here, looking at you sleeping” the other replied smiling.

“Am I funny when I sleep?”

“Yes, you are also very cute”

Takanori posed his fingers on Akira’s face touching his nose, eyelids and lips.

“I like the way you smile. Your skin seems very relaxed” the blind boy pronounced these words delicately.

“I only smile when I’m with you” 

Akira was really honest. 

Takanori blushed laughing. 

Their lips touched for the first time that morning. It was still dark in Takanori’s bedroom, but some rays of light were aggressively entering from the small fissures of the curtains. They both seem to be too confident in that bed to wake up today.

“Thank god I don’t have to go to work” the shorter man asserted.

“Well I have a job appointment this afternoon but I don’t think I will go”

“Why?”

“Because it would be a crime to leave you Takanori”

They both laughed. Akira loved Takanori’s laugh and small teeth.

His small super-expressive eyes were the most beautiful thing he ever seen. Probably that’s why they didn’t have the ability to see, they were doors to other dimensions, to other universes. Akira wanted to go inside. 

It was impossible to count the numbers of kisses they shared in bed, their lips were practically glued together. Akira’s heart was soft, light, clear. 

“I think I’m truly in love with you, like I’ve never been in my life with anyone else”

The blonde man spoke again after minutes of silence, where only their bodies were communicating.

“I am so grateful for that. I do love you too Akira. I just don’t know how a person like you can appreciate someone like me, though.”

“Shhh not again. I love you for who you are”

They remained in silence, naked in bed, half covered with the bed sheets and a blanket. 

Takanori delicately started crying. 

“I wish I could see you right now.”

“There’s no need to see me, I’m here next to you” Akira returned taking his small body in his arms; the boy’s face posed on Akira’s shoulder groove. Takanori smelled like mint.

“I’m hungry Taka, what about we prepare something to eat?”

In less than a minute, the duo were in the kitchen trying putting some ingredients together to make a delicious okonomiyaki. Takanori was wearing a big XL t-shirt and a pair of trousers, while Akira didn’t really mind and he wore only his boxers. 

They spent time talking about anything: school, friends, favorite music, interests, hobbies. 

“You know what? When I was eighteen my brother used to help me shave my face since I wasn’t really confident in using a razor by myself and we always ended up making our mother angry because we got all the bathroom dirty covering basically everything with shaving foam!”

Akira laughed while shaking eggs in a big bowl. 

“It must be fun having a brother then!”

“Absolutely yes, but my mom used to hate us for our ‘experiments’”

They laughed so hard they seem to scream loud. 

Takanori wasn’t really helping in the kitchen, he was just speaking a lot making Akira smile sitting on the kitchen table and waving his legs back and forth. A light vibration scared him.

“God damn Akira! Your phone made me piss in my pants! Why aren’t you using a silent mode?”

Akira laughed taking his iPhone in his hands.

It was a message from Yutaka.

He opened the text and in that moment he had to stop.

It was a link from an online article taken from a famous national newspaper. The title said 

 

“ **Suzuki found love again. Who is the mysterious guy?** ”

 

In the article there was a small pixelated photo portraying Takanori and Akira holding hands outside in the streets. 

Akira went pale and in that moment he thanked God for Takanori’s blindness. His face started sweating and his heart beating faster.

He didn’t even sent Yutaka a reply.

He started searching on the internet for more informations. He founds tons of articles talking about gossip or similar, mentioning the same fucking thing, over and over again.

 

_JAPANESE MALE MODEL IN A RELATIONSHIP? SEE THE PHOTO_

>  

_THE MOST BEAUTIFUL JAPANESE MODEL SMITTEN WITH A BOY_

 

  _AKIRA SUZUKI AND THE ‘SUNGLASSESS-BOY’_

 

One of the articles stated that some paparazzi saw Takanori walking around with a white stick and they recognized him as ‘Akira’s new flirt’, assuming that he was probably blind or acting like one. 

Akira felt his blood boiling in his veins.

He had the illusion that everything was going ok once in a life time but he was wrong. They were trying to ruin his life again and he was so mad in that moment that he was about to scream, but he held back. 

“Is everything ok Aki?”

“Yeah….just my manager is texting me some schedules for the next week” Akira replied. 

“Fine...so, why am I smelling something strange?” Takanori’s sassy tone could not be unnoticed.

“What? Oh my god!”

Akira turned around looking at the stove and noticing a black smoke coming out from the frying pan. He immediately turned the stove off, he then opened the window to make fresh air entering in the kitchen.

Takanori was laughing in the background.

“I think that you had the plan to make my own kitchen on fire, hadn’t you?”

 Akira was clearly embarrassed but he felt Takanori’s arms hugging his chest from behind.

He closed his eyes for a second, enjoying his boyfriend’s touch.

  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

*  
  
  
  
  


 

 

“Can you at least let me explain?”

It’s been two hours since he was in his mother’s house. He was tired and he just wanted to go home, getting drunk or crying; or maybe all the three things together.

“I think that photo explains enough Aki, what do you want to say? I feel so betrayed”

“Mom that’s the fifth time telling you it’s not like that! I wanted to keep it secret for some time, then I would have tell you everything. Why can’t you understand?”

His mother was elegantly drinking green tea from a porcelain cup, sipping silently. She was wearing a Gucci beige suite and had his hair styled in a small chignon. She was stunning, as usual. Most of people Akira met in his life used to tell him that he was so similar to his mother: the same sophisticated facial features, the same nose, the same plump lips. 

His mother was the most beautiful woman on earth, and also she was the best mother someone could ask for. She was caring and kind, she never let Akira and his siter missing something, she would give away her own soul for his children, still she seemed to be _blind_.

His mom couldn’t see the real world sometimes, she only cared about fame, money and family welfare. She had no bad intentions, she was just a very pratical person. Love can’t make you gain money to afford a new Lamborghini, but working in the fashion industry can do that. That’s what she kept repeating to Akira when he was younger.

“I _do_ understand Aki. But you already know what I think about it”

Akira remained in silence. He was standing in the lounge room of his mother’s large apartment, walking in circle in the middle of two armchairs. He was really nervous. 

“I am dating a guy, ok? Are you satisfied now?”

His mother didn’t reply. She finished drinking her hot tea, then posed the fine porcelain cup on the small plate on the table in front of the sofa. She wiped his lipstick-coloured lips with a fabric napkin, then she coughed.

“Aki, my dear. I am not mad because you are dating someone and you didn’t tell me. But...I did my researches. That boy is not from the v.i.p. industry, isn’t he? Also there are some rumors that he is blind. Can you now understand why I am so concerned?”

Akira tried to keep himself calm.

How fool he was to think that his mother couldn’t find out about Takanori, how fool of him. His mother knew everything probably one minute later the news shared the gossip about him. He was so mad that he felt the need to kill, to destroy to ruin something. He wanted to punch the wall with his hands till his knuckles bleed. 

“Are you saying that blind people belong to a lower class?” Akira spoke, not facing his mother in the eyes.

“That’s not what I said Akira. That boy is not from the v.i.p. industry, that means he is a normal person, he just doesn’t belong to our world.”

“So what?”

“You already know the answer. Our world is very strange. We stopped being common people years ago. We are famous and paparazzi keep following us everywhere. I can’t even adjust my bra when I’m outside without being noticed by ten people! How can this not be important to you? That boy can’t be with us”

“He is not ‘that boy’. His name is Takanori”

Akira’s mother stayed silent. Akira was trembling and he was fighting with his tears to not start crying. 

“Mom...I love him. Nothing can change that.”

The woman remained sitting on the large sofa with the two legs reunited in such an elegant pose. 

“I’m sorry Akira but...you know how things work here for us. Remember what happened with your ex wife? And she was famous, she was used to all the pressure we have daily. That boy, Takanori, can’t even imagine how hard is for us. You should...you know, let him live his life”

Akira turned around with a terrifying yet scaring expression on his face. His eyebrows were distorted in a creepy grimace and his lips were disgusted, reversed in an angry smile.

“Do you want me to break up with him? Now? After all the nice things that are happening to me in this period” He pointed a finger to his mom, looking extremely angry and frustrated. 

The woman didn’t even blink an eye.

“I’m afraid Aki….but this is not the end of the world. You loved so many people in your life you will surely-”

“NO!” 

Akira screamed so much that he felt his ears exploding, falling into his brain and body. He couldn’t contain his anger anymore. He started screaming, roaring like a lion.

“I will not find someone else again mom! Why can’t you understand? For the first time in my life I found someone who makes me _really_ happy and now you are telling me I should leave him only because he belongs to another category of people? Why can’t you see that he is the one who loves me for who I am? He doesn’t love me for my money or because I’m beautiful. He can’t fucking SEE ME! He can’t see my face or my credits cards. He only loves me for my brain, for what I say and for what I think. I love him, mom.”

He screamed again till one of the butlers appeared on the living room door looking embarrassingly at the situation. The woman felt a little bit confused but didn’t move that much. She’s always been like that. A marble statue: beautiful and firm. She was caring and loving, but she’s always had this strict attitude. That’s what Akira hated about her. She started acting like that when Akira became really famous. He perfectly knew that she was being so harsh to protect him from the cruelty of the media and the world in general. But he was tired...he was tired of his life. He just wanted to be a normal person, having a normal relationship with his boyfriend and not dealing with all of this. 

“I will speak to the journalists tomorrow, I will make an excuse telling them that the news is fake. You are not dating anyone and they got it all wrong”

Akira didn’t even give her a look, he only took his belongings and reached the main hall to his way out. His mother finally stood up from the sofa and reached the front door.

“Call me when you are home” she said.

“Leave me alone” he replied bitterly.

Akira kept looking at his shoes, remaining concentrated to not cry in the streets. He closed the main door behind him with a loud noise. 

He realized he was crying when he noticed his tears were freezing on his cheeks.


	14. Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! i'm back ♪●♩○♬☆

Fourteen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Akira”

Hearing his name made him standing up from the giant sofa where he was sitting since this morning.  
He didn’t left the living room since he woke up that day. He only had a black coffee and then he went sitting on the sofa staring at the floor without moving a single muscle. He didn’t even try spending time with Sid; everything was too confusing. The butler, mister Kobayashi-san, took care of the labrador that morning, taking him out for a walk  
Akira was too tired to take care of another living being; today he wasn’t even able to take care of himself properly. He didn’t eat anything, nor he had a shower. He was smelling of sadness and nightmares.  
But when that voice called his name he felt like a hole in his heart.

He stoop up turning his head around.

Takanori was standing still, holding the white stick in his left hand.

“Takanori? How….why are you here?”

“Kobayashi-san let me in, he opened the gate and then the front door for me, he is really nice.” He replied with a firm voice.  
“Why are you here?” the model asked.

“Nice to see you too Akira, even tho I am fucking blind!”

Both tried to smile at the joke but the tension was too high to not be noticed. Akira was clearly nervous, while Takanori seemed...upset?  
“....Sorry” the model said going back to the sofa with a resigned face. “I am really tired and

confused right now”

“My brother informed me of what’s going on with the media. They published a photo of us on the interent; is that the matter, isn’t it?”  
Akira didn’t answer, he just stayed silent, watching the panorama outside the room’s windows.

It was snowing.

Takanori reached the sofa relying on his stick’s help. He sat down and looked for Akira’s hands.

When he found them, he took them in his and held them on his legs.

“Listen, you were the one to tell me that this shit ain’t a problem. So why are you acting like that? You haven’t called me since the other day you were at my place. Are you fucking retarded Akira? You are a fucking contradiction!”  
The blond man listened to the words pronunciated by his boyfriend but didn’t act so surprised.

Takanori was right in the end. His attitude has no excuse, plus he was the first to believe that there wasn’t any problem at all.

What’s going on then?

Akira took a deep breathe.

“I am really nervous right now. I would like telling you that everything is going to be ok and I can manage that. I can’t do anything right now, I feel like I’m powerless. I’m so mad. That’s why I disappeared.”  
“Has it to do with your mother though? You seemed so...scared”

Akira pandered with a small gesture.

“My mother expects too much from me. I’m not that strong and I am probably not appropriate anymore for this kind of job. I’m beautiful...so what? What’s the point in that if I can’t live my own life without being constantly scared of people who can ruin my life at any time?” Akira talked, letting the words flowing like a swollen river.  
He felt weightless when he let his words out.

“Your mother doesn’t like me…..does she?”

“W-What?” Akira swallowed roughly.

He tried acting in the nicest way in front of Takanori, but he probably failed.

“Your mother doesn’t want you to stay in a relationship with a fucking disabled person like me” Here we go again.  
Akira was so fucking tired of pushing the thing back and forth. He was just trying having...a normal life? Something that anyone should achieve in life: having a relationship, enjoy small things, spending time with people you love.

Why was it so difficult?

It was like being so beautiful was a sort of evil spell. Akira felt like a black shadow was following him everywhere.  
“That’s not what I said, Takanori” His voice came out darker than expected. His tone was delicate but strong, dark like a moonless night, like a room with no lights, like Takanori’s own world.

“Ehy, I’m not stupid. You tried making it about you, when, in the end, it’s just about me. I knew things weren’t easy. I was….right, in a sense”

Takanori started raising his voice higher.

“I don’t care what she says or thinks! She can die mad if she wants but I ain’t gonna leave you, for no reasons at all. I love you Takanori”  
He just let the words be...he let them floating in the air, in the room all around them. He was so angry about that situation that he decided to not care anymore about anyone. His mother never cared for his happiness nor his feelings, she only cared about her money. Akira, her precious son, was just a living cash machine. That was it.  
The truth hurt, it hurt like alcohol cleaning an open wound.

“Don’t fool me like that Suzuki! You are acting now like there is no problem for us when in reality it’s a big problem, apparently! I was right when I said we weren’t made for each other….you belong to another world that I cannot enter to, not see into. It was a mistake, but you always tried to comfort the situation! It’s your fucking mistake!!”

Takanori raised his fits trying hitting his boyfriend, but the blond man stopped him by holding his small wrists tightly. He then took Takanori’s jaw in his hand, holding it strongly looking into his empty eyes.  
“Say it again and I will kick your ass”

Silence.

The tension was so palpable, it was very ueneasy for both of them.

Takanori was so mad he seemed like he wanted to kill Akira.

“I just want to protect you Takanori Matsumoto. You are the most precious thing in my life and I don’t want to lose you. I have already lost important people in my life due to my job difficulties. I’m tired”  
The black haired man relaxed for a bit, but his hands were still tense, gripping the end of his sweater till his fingers bones were showing. He punched kidnly Akira’s chest.  
He slapped his torso and his neck, leaving punches and fists on his boyfriend’s body.

They eventually ended up lying on the sofa. Takanori topping Akira with his thin weight.

Akira enclosed his arms around that small body.  
“To be honest….now I can really see why you were so sad about your life and career when we first met in that Starbucks. But Akira let me tell you….fuck them! Fuck their shitty shit asses! You are so powerful and they can’t hurt you on any level. Why do you let them have such a power on you? You shouldn’t care about what your mother and other people around you think about- “

“I don’t care about me anymore, I only care about you”

He whispers on his boyfriend’s lips caressing his pale face with his thumbs. He was so beautiful.

Takanori’s eyes were cramped and unreadable. Akira stil felt that loneliness feeling.

He whished he could see Takanori’s mind, taking his thoughts out from his brain and taking care of them.  
“Do you think I am a little cute lamb that needs to be protected by hungry wolves? Akira...c’mon. I lived basically my whole life with my disabilty and you care about what the paparazzi or journalists can say about me and you? I say...fuck them!”

Akira laughed.

“That’s why I love you”

Their lips touched like rain touches the trees during a storm. It was an heavy, passionate, desperate kiss. It was a different kiss. Takanori never kissed Akira in that way.  
“I knew things aren’t going to be wasy but now….I think it’s too late. It would hurt me to stay away from you”

“You don’t have to in fact. You can come living here, if you want”

“Nah, I like my house...I don’t wanna turn myself into a rich butt prince living in a big villa with a butler that cleans my ass every day”  
Akira laughed feeling the tears coming to his eyes. It was hard to hold them and not crying. But he wanted to be strong in that moment; as strong as Takanori.   
“So..? Are you gonna stay with me anyway?” Akira whispered on his boyfriend’s lips.   
Takanori stayed quiet for a while. He seemed lost in his toughts, in his own universe.   
“I say yes but I want you to stop worrying about me and other shit stuff that sounds way too romantic for me” the other replied posing his head on the model’s big chest.  
“As you wish, my beautiful prince”  
“Fuck you!” the shorter exclaimed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
Here he was again.  
Late night, loud music, colorful lights.   
It was the same damn music played all over again all night long, the same party, the same people, the same drinks.   
Akira probably joined more fashion parties than job assignments, and that said it all. He was convinced to partecipate at this party because rumors said that a famous designer was there, ready to catch his next muse among the beautiful guests models; it's not surprising to say that Akira’s mother wanted him to partecipate at all cost. Akira didn’t even try to react when his mother announced him. He just acted like he wasn’t surprised at all.  
The party seemed nice but the music was really boring. A lot of people were talking louds and taking videos to post on instagram stories. Most of people around Akira were high or drunk.   
He felt a small headache coming, probably caused by the three drinks he had minutes ago. Akira decided it was better to reach the bathroom before doing something really terrible like spitting the amount of liters of vodka he had in his body in front of everyone.   
When he reached the toilet’s door he felt someone grabbing his right arm.   
Akira winced.  
“Aki”  
“Itsuko? What are you doing here?” he questioned with a surprised tone, trying not to look too cynical.   
It wasn’t really the right time to be stopped by a girl that confessed his feelings to Akira years ago and never completely gave up about it. She was a dear Akira’s friend, also a nice girl, but Akira never felt something deep towards the girl. She seemed too extrovert.   
“The same thing that _you_  are doing here: drinking” she smiled laughing, trying acting nicely.  
“Woah, you are right in fact” Akira didn’t hold it for too long, he budged from her grip with an extremely pissed off expression on his face.  
“Ehy, I’m sorry if I said something offensive, I just wanted to ask you how you are doing...”  
“Don’t try acting nicely Itsuko, when you all want to do right now is gossip”  
She didn’t reply but she made a guilty face. She grabbed Akira’s hand, moving in a calmer place inside the pub so no one could hear them.  
“What do you want Itsuko?” Akira tried sounding educated but he was really nervous; also the three vodka lemon he had weren’t really helping.  
“Is is true what they say? Are you...dating a blind person?”  
“That’s none of your business”  
She moved forward to hear better the conversation. She stole Akira’s drink from his hands, drinking a sip before looking at him in the eyes.  
“Are you kidding me? everyone knows about it now, people talk Suzuki”  
He tried not to say something offensive. He breathed heavily making some oxygen caressing his brain and reaching his heart. He felt like he was out of air. He wanted to go outside, breathing fresh air.  
“Still, none of your business” he said piercing the other person’s soul with a serious gaze.  
“Listen to me, this can be really risky for you and for your...partner. The media will eat you both alive. Also...what about your life style? You spent your whole life partying, doing drugs and being beautiful. What will it happen? Will you retire to go living on your own and leaving all behind? No one will remember your name in two years”  
She talked calmly but with a resolute tone, like she was grumbling a small child for doing something inappropriate.   
“Go taking another drink Itsuko, you are not drunk enough”   
He didnt say anything more, he just turned around and came back to his place, reaching the toilet again.  
She screamed behind him.  
“Is it so wrong to care about you? You never cared about me!” she shouted from somewhere.  
Akira didnt pay much attention, he looked for the male toilet and pushed the door.   
Two persons were making out in a corner, while another one was trying to drink some water from the tap.  
Akira felt his head spinning; talking with Itsuko didn’t really help. He tried to approach the lavatory before spitting liters of alcohol on the floor. He bended down on the small hole and did vomit all the liquids he had inside his body.   
Whe he finished he felt empty and sad. His eyes noticed something white and dusty in the corner of the toilet. It was surely something good, a nice quality. Models never blow bad quality acids. Only the best for rich people.  
Akira leaned down and posed his nose on that thing. He breathed in heavily.   
A chilly, shar, prickly, bitter sensation reached hish brain, making his eyes losing the sight for some seconds.  
It was stronger than expected.   
He finished all the dust on the surface; if he had to go to hell, he wanted at least to not go sober.


	15. Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I am officially back ♩✧♪●♩○♬☆ Since I want to apologize for my huge delay I will post the next chapters in a few days eheh \o/

Fifteen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was already December.

  
It was cold outside, not that kind of cold where you can't wait to go home and staying in bed all the time. It was a warm cold, a comfortable cold. The city lights warmed the atmosphere and people's hearts, Christmas decorations were everywhere making people feel happy just by being alive. Tokyo was so colorful that it was impossibile to feel sad or irritated walking around the streets. The most important colors was red and white, a lot of Santa Claus stood in front of the main shops in the shopping districs.

Visiting Tokyo during Christmas time was a sort of magical experience, especially for foreigners tourtists.  
It is too obvious to assert that rich people in the richest places were having a lot of fun around this time of the year. Ginza, Ikebukuro, Shinjuku had parties and concerts in every bar or small venues. Most famous japanese fashion designer had fashion events to celebrate Christmas holidays and new fashion campaigns. It was damn fun.

  
Akira was invited by Yohji Yamamoto staff to represent the new fragrance for men, an exclusive gift for the winter holidays.  
Akira was happy to be there, there were so many people that knew him and they were very kind. They were really professional and he felt at home. There was his mum, Yuu and Yutaka too.

  
But someone was missing.  
Takanori wasn't there, again.  
Was it the seventh time? Probably.  
It was a little bit too much for Akira to handle but he tried to comfort himself. It was hard to protect Takanori from the world, he felt like it wasn't right but, for now, he had to do this way. He had to act like it wasn't serious, like Takanori didn't even exist. It was hard; painful. But all that made Akira went on was that he was protecting his boyfriend. They could never hurt him, like they did with his ex wife in the past. Takanori was safe, and that was all that matters.  
  
"There is a nice french wine on the buffet table" a familiar voice spoke at Akira's right shoulder.  
The huge party buffet room was noisy and crowded.  
Akira turned around smiling.  
"I dont want to get drunk tonight" he replied to his long time friend.  
Yutaka smiled drinking a beige, crystalline liquid from his chalice.  
"Famous last words"  
Yutaka smiled again; his smile made him one of the nicest and prettiest football player around the country. He was always like that: smiling while a match, during an interview, smiling in front of paparazzi. Akira envied him a little bit. Probably being a famous football player is easier than just being beautiful. An empty useless bag of darkness getting attention by the people just for a pretty face.

  
"I am very happy to be here, I didn't feel so comfortable around people since a long time"  
The blonde model spoke with no shame in front of one of his best friend.  
"It's because you are really happy right now. I'm glad things turned very well for you in the end"  
Yutaka kept drinking white wine during the conversation. He pulled Akira in front of the buffet to grab something to eat. The food was way too sophisticated but tasted good anyway. He gave a small bite to the salmon sandwich and swallowed without chewing much. He was hungry for food or maybe just boring. Or both.

  
"Not really like that" he didn't want to be heard by any soul, especially his mum that was probably in the same room talking with famous TV personas.  
Yutaka waved his hand with a gesture meant to say that it was better to talk in a noiseless place.

  
Two young male modelss stopped the duo. Akira turned his body to look at them, they were two young girls, probably russian, considered their long blond hair and their facial features. They were really gorgeous and extremely tall.  
"Can we take a photo with you Akira-san?" one of them asked in a very funny japanese with an european accent.  
Akira gave a smile back.  
The two girls both blushed and posed with him for some photos with their phones. They also took a photo with Yutaka; one of them thanked Akira for his kindness and bowing in the funniest way then went back to party talking with other people.

  
"The one with the red skirt had his eyess glued to you" the brown haired boy laughed.  
"Not surprising. Also I'm not really interested"  
Yutaka patted his friend's shoulder like to comfort him.

  
They greeted some famous people and posed for the photographers before disappearing in another room. It was smaller and there was soft music playing in the background. Big windows and giant paintings on the walls. A door windows made a passage to a big balcony decorated with plants and covered with a metallic minimalist roof.  
Finally Akira could enjoy a cigarette.

  
Yutaka remained in silence watching the amazing breathtaking panorama showing from that part of the building.  
"Takanori makes me really happy, I couldn't ask for more" he talked breathed nicotine into his lungs. "I love him, I really do. But I'm really worried for what people can do to him. Taeko couldn't handle and she got ill. I don't want Takanori to get hurt in any way"  
Yutaka waited for his turn to speak.  
"I could imagine this when you told me the first time about your boyfriend. It must not be easy for both of you. Takanori is not here tonight, and for people who know you, it is clear that he is missing"  
He finished the sentence moving a lock of hair behind his ear.  
"However I think you are worrying too much about Takanori. He has such a strong personality...He is nothing like Taeko. You should have brought him tonight with you. He surely can manage all of this."

  
Akira smirked with a disappointed smile.  
"I feel like it's us against the world, can you understand?"  
Yutaka didn't answer but paid attention to his drink, taking a big sip before leaving the glass on a small elegant manifactured table.  
They remained silent for a while, staring at other people's outfit, watching their faces smiling under the coloured lights of the room.

  
"Do you think Itsuko got over it?"  
Akira didn't specify, he just asked the question. Yutaka luckily knew his best friend way too well to not catch the phrase immediately.  
"I just think people see what they want to see" the brown haired man replied.  
"And what if they can't see?" Akira couldn't help but think of his favorite person.  
"Well sometimes, blind people see more things that we can imagine."

  
Yutaka moved to the other side of the room, going outside, in a small balcony. It was extremely cold and Akira didn't want to wear his coat. Probably the huge quantity of alcol in his body was helping making him feel warmer.  
"Don't fill your head of useless thoughts and ideas. Just let it be, Suzuki. Go with the flow for once in your life. Love and feelings can't be organized like a working schedule. Promise me you will be happier"  
  
Akira smiled at this friend, then turned his head to look at the dark sky.  
"I promise."

 

 


	16. Sixteen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I promised I came back immediately with a new chapter because I know y'all are hungry. So here it is \o/

Sixteen  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Akira waited outside the Starbucks bar he was used to go often to, drinking hot chocolate to warm his hands. It was snowing and small snowflakes were about to fall inside his hot drink.  
He hated waiting for people but he wasn't upset at all that time, he was just  _impatient_. He couldn't wait.  
He texted his manager during the waiting, fixing some working appointments then he noticed both his hands were freezing to death. So he hid his iPhone in his pocket, promising to not grabbing it again for the next hours.

  
A voice called him from inside the bar. He turned his head surprisingly because he wasn't expecting any of that. It was a blonde girl, surely a model since she was really skinny and extremely tall. She was drinking a Starbucks coffee, just bought inside the cafeteria. He noticed he already saw her face but couldn't remember very well.  
"Are you Suzuki? Aren't you?"

Akira nodded.  
"I immediately recognized you from the inside. We have already met each other. You were at the Yamamoto's launch party the other night! I asked you to take a selfie with me and my friend"  
Akira immediately remembered Yutaka's words.

  
_"The one with the red skirt had his eyess glued to you"_

 

Akira smiled trying to not look too uncomfortable.  
"Yeah I got it. Did you enjoy the show?"  
He drank his hot chocolate as an excuse to keep his mouth closed.  
"Yeah! I liked it a lot! It was a shame we didn't had time to talk. You seem really interesting. Are you free now? We can talk and going somewhere..."  
Akira rolled his eyes unconsciously so he tried to stop himself but it was, in fact, hard. The same thing repeated over and over again. He thought he could get used to the fact that both boys and girls could fall for him, but sometimes he was still surprised.

"To be honest I'm waiting for a person right now, I am busy, I'm so sorry"  
He kept drinking his beverage.  
"Ah I see....so it's true what people say about you and your mysterious boyfriend.  You are dating someone"  
"None of your business, to be really honest. No one's business at all."

  
The blonde girl smiled and stared at her own shoes trying finding the right words.  She posed a lock of her long hair on the other side of her scalp. Her right ear was showing, it was fully decorated with a lot of circled piercings and earrings.

  
"I leave here my phone number, in case your _mysterious boyfriend_  won't come. You can call me when you want. We will surely meet at work some day. Have a nice evening"  
The girl handed Akira a small piece of paper with black inked numbers on it; then turned around and started walking in the opposite direction followed by some of her friends who were waiting inside the bar, probably like an audience watching the whole situation unseen from outside. Two girls stared at Akira smiling with effort. Then they disappeared in the middle of the city lights.

  
The blonde man smiled for a while thinking about the fact that he has way too many pretenders ready to fall for him. He felt pleased and scared at the same time, since he knew staying with Takanori was more difficult and harder. But he tried for once listening to Yutaka's advice. He was going with the flow. He didn't want to react. He just wanted to enjoy things around him.

  
Suddendly a small figure appeared at the beggining of the street shaking a white stick. Akira's whole being started smiling and freezing. He felt a caress on his heart when he saw Takanori walking straight towards him. He looked so small compared to Tokyo, like a cat inside a castle. Akira's soul felt a deep feeling of tenderness. In that moment he thought he could give away his whole life to stay next to the small boy.

  
The bottom of the white stick hit his Armani's leather shoes.  
"Sorry sir" his deep voice broke the silence.  
"I won't apologize you"  
"Akira, son of a bitch" Takanori shouted, refolding the white stick, placing it in his pocket.  
"Happy to see you too" Akira said wrapping his free arm around the other's small waist. He kissed Takanori's head smelling his scent and feeling the luckiest man alive.  
The black haired man posed his tiny hands on Akira's chest then moving them to his face, caressing his masculine jaw and his lips. The model stayed still, he even stopped breathing. Takanori drew the shape of Akira's perfect full lips with his fingers. He looked like he was handling soft marble giving a perfect shape, a perfect harmony and order to his work. Akira couldn't resist so he kissed Takanori's mouth immediately.  Kissing Takanori was a sort of risk now, but Akira didn't think about it for a moment. They were hugging in a small secondary street where people used to pass through only to go inside the Starbucks café.  Their mouths were cold, as the weather. Akira bit the other's tongue delicately; he missed his taste, more than the taste of oxygen or water. The kiss lasted longer than expected. Their mouths produced small wet sounds.  
Takanori interrupted their contact. "Mmmh....chocolate! You taste like chocolate!"  
Akira laughed "Well wait a minute" he took the last sip of what's remaining of his beverage, making it stay inside his mouth.  
He then kissed his boyfriend, giving him a small taste of the liquid through the kiss.  
Takanori swallowed pinching Akira's stomach.  
"I like you even more when you taste like chocolate" the small one whispered.  
"I will remember this then"  
They both laughed.

  
Takanori's eyes were moving in every directions and not focusing into anything. He always seemed like his eyes were looking at something human beings weren't able to see. It was a sort of magic. Akira could feel it inside his blood; that feeling of vulnerabilty every time he tried getting lost into Takanori's eyes.  
"What are the plans for tonight?"  
"Would you like to come to my place?" the blonde man asked.  
"I don't know if I can trust a muscled vain conceited tall model to go to his fucking big castle-like house. Who will ever accept such an offfer?" Akira realized he missed Takanori's sarcastic jokes. Especially his most sassy compliments the shorter tried to hide behind his subtle rude attitude.  
"Hey watch out to your words! There are people who would die to stay in your place now"  
They both laughed facing each other and holding their hands. Takanori stopped in the middle of the street facing his partner like he could see him, staring into his soul.  
"I can't believe you have so many people around you! I mean....a hot male model? Who would ever care?" Takanori's ironic tone was adorable in Akira's opinion. He felt the need to kiss him passionately even if they were walking in the middle of one of the most crowded streets in Tokyo.       
"Speaking of this...while I was waiting for you, a russian girl gave me her phone number and-"  
"Wow it seems like I need to kill a lot of people!" he smiled and the blonde man smiled back.  
"Nah, I don't want you to go to jail. I will miss you terribly"  
They kept laughing holding their hands, like two small children. They tried hiding their braided hands inside the sleeves of their coats. It was like hiding in a safe zone, hiding from the world, from the cruel world.

  
When they reached the main entrance of Akira's big house, the tall model decided to pick Takanori up posing his weightless body on his left shoulder.  
"Suzuki what are you doing? PUT ME DOWN! Now!!"  
The black haired man had the deepest voice, except in these cases when he could scream like a soprano.  
The couple entered in the house, passing into the main hall where a delicate scent of mint was floating in the air.  
"Mister Suzuki?! Today I found some letters in the mail. It seems a lot of famous people reached for you in this period. There is even a small gift from Mister Giorgio Armani! " Kobayashi spoke while he was cleaning the windows of the living room. He was probably using some mint scented product to clean the house.

  
Akira posed softly Takanori on the ground and took the letters, browsing them quickly. There were a lot of congratulations letters from famous designers together with invitations to fashion campaigns parties. In the middle of the pile of mails, Akira eyed a blank envelope with no text on it, no sender, no adress of where the letter was coming from. Probably  it was from a fan or from a colleague, like a photographer or a stylist. Akira received tons of letters and e-mails every single day. It wasn't surprising.  
Takanori pinched his cheek.

  
"Who's writing to you?" the small one asked.  
"No one that really matters. A lot of fashion designers thanked me for modelling their products."  
Takanori smiled.  
"You are really important then, Suzuki" his eyes circulated around the room.

  
Akira felt a deep fondness seeing his boyfriend in his big house. He seemed smaller than he actually was. In that moment he wished Takanori could see, so he could notice the way Akira was looking at him. He reached for his partner wrapping his petite body into his arms.  
Takanori relaxed his head on the other man's chest. "You are really important to me too"

 

  
Akira kissed his scalp and smiled. He wanted to make fun of the other for being so sweet and kind, and since it was so rare it was worth saying, but he preferred to just stay silent.  
"You wanna go upstairs? We can listen to some music and playing with Sid"  
The smallest's eyes was literally glittering.  
"Can we do that later? I just want you Akira"  
The blonde man didn't even blink twice. He just took his boyfriend upstairs, inside his huge bedroom.

  
In less than some minutes their naked bodies were touching in the dimmed darkness of the room. Takanori was caressing Akira's face with his fingers drawing the line of his facial features. Then he moved to his neck, softly pinching his Adam's apple; then his delicate hands moved to his broad chest.

Takanori's fingers were as delicate as silk.

  
"I am not really good at writing anything since I learned a different alphabet for blind people. But I remember how to write one thing.."  
Takanori's voice broke the chilling peaceful silence while the tips of his fingertips posed on Akira's pectorals.

  
He started writing invisible kanji on the tanned skin of his boyfriend. The shape of the nails crawled the curves of the kanji on the surface of the other's chest. He was writing something.....a sentence, probably.  

Akira read the words inside his mind.

_愛してる_  
ai shi teru

_I love you._

 

'I love you too Takanori' Akira thought, closing his eyes.

 

 

 


	17. Seventeen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back again to not let the readers starve eheh (๑°꒵°๑)･*♡

Seventeen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
Akira woke up early that morning because he felt the need to go to the bathroom.

After checking himself out in the bathroom's mirror he decided to go back to sleep. In the bed a sleeping Takanori was waiting for him, clumsily lying on the bed with his body half covered by the soft blue blanket. He was sleeping peacefully, Akira was afraid to breathe to not bother him.

 

The blonde model lied on the bed posing his back on the soft surface staring at the ceiling thinking about too many things. He felt so happy that it was unreal...he wanted to stop time for a while just to enjoy this moment. Him lying next to his boyfriend, locked away from the cruel world.

He then decided to turn on the left to have the chance to admire Takanori's beauty. The smaller man was sleeping on a side, with his arms bent over his body and the legs half spread on the mattress. His mouth was half open, while his eyes were close showing the skin of the eyelids. His whole face and body was so pale that he seemed like he was made of porcelain, like a rare precious treasure. Takanori's nose was really funny when he was sleeping: it seemed bigger, probably because the nostrils were wide open to let the oxygen come inside. But the thing that Akira loved the most about Takanori was his hands. Takanori's hands were small but chubby, very pale but a little bit pinkish on the top. His fingers were thin with large nails perfectly rounded. The palm was small and looked so soft.

  
Akira felt the need to touch his right hand but he stopped himself.

  
It was now impossibile to fall asleep again so the blonde man woke up from his bed and decided to go downstairs where Kobayashi-san was surely finishing off something important. When Akira walked through the stairs he immediately realized that he didn't open not even a single mail that he received last night. He had surely something better to do with Takanori, but he was curious.

  
"Good morning Mister Suzuki" Kobayashi's voice welcomed him in the living room.  
"Morning Koba-san!" he replied yawning.  
A funny bark came from the living room. Sid was already awake and he was jumping happily on the floor. He was barking and running in every possible angle of the room.

  
"Shut up big doggo! You are gonna wake Takanori!"

  
Sid kept his tongue out breathing heavily like he was waiting for an answer.  
Akira caressed his head and spoke softly to him:  
"I can't go out with you but Kobayashi will take you to the park later, ok?"

  
The dog looked at him like he didn't really understand what his owner just said. Then he started jumping on the other room when Kobayashi announced he was serving food for the dog. Sid was so happy to eat his breakfast that didn't pay attention to Akira anymore. Akira smiled staring at his big dog being happy just because he was eating and breathing. He envied his dog during these moments. His life seemed so simple yet so happy and quiet.

  
He went near the sofa to check out the mails posed on the living room table. The first mail was from Vogue Japan, the second one was from Giorgio Armani and other mails were from fashion shows managers who was contacting him to organize shootings and events overseas during the Fashion Week season. All the people mailing him were always extremely kind: he could consider himself very lucky for this, especially because most people in this industry always try to get you down, and having friends was hard, but Akira was happy to work with certain famous designers.

Browsing all the piece of paper he noticed the blank envelope who was about to fall from his hands.  
He was a little bit surprised that he completely forgot about that. He posed the other letters to concentrate on that one. It was completely anonymous: no names on it, no stamps, no inscriptions, no adress of where it's coming from.

There was only his own name "TO AKIRA SUZUKI" and nothing more.

  
He opened the envelope and there were only two fresh developed photos. They were two basic photos with a basic size, probably taken by a semi-automatic camera. Both photos potrayed Takanori walking down the streets next to the hospital where he worked. The street around hims was crowded and Takanori was completely unaware of someone holding a camera on the other side of the street and taking photos of him.

  
Akira froze standing still. Was it because he was wearing his pajamas pants and forgot to wear a t-shirt? But Akira was more than cold in that moment. He felt like his blood turned into small pieces of ice cubes and his heart was about to stop suddendly. He tried calming himself down, thinking rationally but he didn't succeded.

  
Someone sent him two photos of Takanori walking down the streets. The paper envelope didn't contain anything else: no informations at all. This was so creepy that Akira thought for a moment it was a joke.

  
Probably some paparazzi wanted to send him some shots before publishing on magazines. But this was too suspicious.

  
Someone was playing with him.

  
Taking photos of an aware person it happens all the time if you are really famous. Paparazzi follow you everywhere and even in the moments where you feel alone and quiet you can be recorded by people.  
But this time was different.

  
Someone took advantage of Takanori's disabilty. He wasn't only unaware of what's going on; he could never notice that someone was photographing him from somewhere next to the place where he went to work every day.

  
Akira was so angry that he felt like he was about to explode. Should he have gone to the police station? Calling his manager? Not doing anything at all?  
He was so mad that the blood was pumping faster in his veins and his head started spinning like crazy. He decided to not decide anything for now. He found a place where he could hide the photos so no one could find them.  
Maybe in the end it was all a joke and he got mad for no reasons.

  
"Akira?"  
A voice came from the hallway, calling his name softly.

  
His heart started beating normally again. He tidied up the mails and the gifts from his colleagues and he reached for his phone in three seconds or even less.  
He searched for Yuu's contact on LINE and sent him a very short message.

"need to talk to u asap. text me when u are off"

He posed the iPhone on the sofa when he heard his name again.  
"Akira, where the hell are you?"  
Takanori's screaming from the hallway.  
"I'm here Taka!"

  
Takanori reached slowly for the entrance of the room, he touched every single forniture or object around him to gain confidence.  
The black haired men was wearing an extra large tshirt and extremely long pants. Akira recognized his own clothes.  
"Are they...my clothings?"  
"I'm so sorry...I didn't find mine so I took yours from the wardrobe"

  
Akira giggled and reached for his boyfriendd hugging him tightly. Takanori posed his face on Akira's naked chest.

  
"Aki...your heart is beating really fast. Are you ok?"  
Takanori's voice wasn't ironic, he was way too serious.  
"W-what? I am completely...ok"  
Takanori made a strange noise with his mouth then moved backwards facing Akira.

"Your whole body is shivering Aki....are you sure you are ok?"  
Akira nodded and posed both his palms on Takanori's cheeks.  
"That's probably the effect you have on me baby" he spoke softly.  
Takanori's cheeks turned in a deep shade of red making him look cuter. The blonde man kissed his face everywhere, his eyelids, his nose, his chin.

Takanori smiled.

  
"What about having breakfast? I'm starving!"  
Takanori replied with another smile, pinching Akira's stomach.  
"Since you are a rich asshole, can I ask whatever I want for breakfast?" the small man spoke running in every part of the room.  
"Absolutely yes! What do you want? Continental breakfast? Pizza? Thai food?"  
Akira spoke making fun of him.  
"I want three servings of banana pancakes with nutella and one coffee and a cappuccino!"  
Akira giggled hugging him from behind. Then he reached for the kitchen where his butler was making tea and tidying the table.  
"Kobayashi-san! Can you make breakfast for my boyfriend? He wants to eat a lot of nutella so be sure you make him very fat!"  
Takanori laughed behind him.

  
"No matter how fat I will be, I will always be prettier than you, Suzuki"  
Akira didn't reply but kissed him, forgetting that Kobayashi was in the same room.  
He then looked into Takanori's eyes.  
"That's absolutely true"


End file.
